Ok, this is urgent. Put down whatever you’re doing, if you haven’t already. I assume you have, because you clicked on this link promising a bunch of tweets. Which is a good thing – you’ve got your priorities straight. You know what you’re doing.

The very important thing you need to focus on right now are these here tweets. You gotta see ’em. For reals. In fact, I should probably stop talking about them so you can start looking at them, yeah?

Ok, cool, here we go.

10. Pay attention

And then you consider walking away from all of it as they stare at their phones.

9. Furious little doll

Wasn’t that the name of one of the Chuckie sequels?

8. By the book

How could anyone misplace or abandon such a treasure?

7. Space case

I think this is *partially* true. The colors are added based on best guesses extrapolated from a bunch of data.

6. Sister sister

I hope Ashley Simpson got her money and got out.


5. A capital idea

Is this even an exciting thing anymore? I can’t recall the last truly memorable ad.

4. Crunch the numbers

It all peaked at 2000, though.

3. Petty bourgeoisie

Technology has really come a long way.

2. Scrunch time

It should make an appreciable difference.

1. Glowing pupper

That dog has absolutely no idea what’s going on.

Ok, thank you for your time, I’m sure you’ll now agree that it was very important we all look at those tweets for a while.

Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?

Tell us in the comments.