I think it was William Shakespeare who wrote,

“Thou art the apple of mine eye, and fruit so sweet hath been beholden not by mortal man,
Yet still doth the heart hunger, per adventure, for the errant grape, the tangerine,
And yon pear is dummy thicc as well.”

Either that or I just made that up. But it’s the kind of poetry these anonymous dudes can relate to.

10. “I’m in love”

Yeah, that sounds like…a nightmare.

Source: Whisper

9. “I can’t tell her”

Oh what tangled webs we weave.

Source: Whisper

8. “Way out of my league”

If the person you’re with gets “scary” rather than, I don’t know, “sad,” that’s probably a red flag.

Source: Whisper

7. “7 loveless months”

That’s my favorite 90’s romantic comedy!

Source: Whisper

6. “I met my girlfriend for two years”

Wait, like, you were shaking hands for 24 months or what does that mean?

Source: Whisper

5. “Recently become single”

And her inbox is probably absolutely full of people making things weird.

Source: Whisper

4. “After 3 weeks”

Is that all the time it takes?

Source: Whisper

3. “She said she wants to…”

If you’re gonna be with her, end the other thing first. You owe her at least that dignity.

Source: Whisper

2. “They joke about us”

Maybe they’re not actually disinterested either?

Source: Whisper

1. “She is staying”

But when will she be going?

Source: Whisper

As Shakespeare also probably said “That’s all for now, I’m gonna bounce.”

Have you ever found yourself in a situation like this?

Tell us about it in the comments.