There are good reasons why writers, even successful ones, spend most of their work time not actually writing anything.
It’s a tough task to tackle. Not only are you attempting to write well – combining words in ways you hope will fascinate and entertain – but to write something with a shred of originality. And that’s no minor thing.
People have been writing for a very long time. Libraries upon libraries upon internets of verbal constructions form an intimidating wall far too large for any human to climb over in a lifetime. Surely whatever there is to say has been said already, in some form, by someone.
But then – glimmers of hope. Sometimes you’ll see a post expressing an assemblage of words so completely original that you remember it IS possible. You just have to keep looking.
10. Nocturnal f**kery
I think that’s what owls do if I’m not mistaken.
Me, sending a text at 10pm: it’s fine, who goes to bed at 10pm
Me, getting a text at 10pm: what nocturnal fuckery is this
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) September 28, 2018
9. The glass’s brown blood
Try using that to replace “the rocket’s red glare” in the national anthem, enjoy the looks you get.
I feel like I could get a beer with Joe Biden.
I feel like he'd stare at the beer and say, "Time to drink this glass's brown blood."
I feel like he'd pour the beer into his hair and say, "A mouth is what you make it."
I feel like he'd pay for the beer with the wettest dimes.
— Keaton Patti (@KeatonPatti) March 5, 2020
8. Cat vape station
There’s always money in a new way to get high.
7. Plastic sack of breath
That was my nickname in high school, weirdly enough.
6. Throne of lies
The sequel to Game of Thrones.
5. Mr. Mime
The most disturbing pokemon just got a lot more disturbing.
4. Thursday of the year
It sounds like the name of an award that absolutely nobody wants.
3. Costco frame rates
Hey kids, could you go outside maybe?
Egg is most important part of breakfast.
1. Yes yes no
E. E. Cummings would be proud.
Now go forth, and write your own original sentences.
Do you have any you’d like to try?
Put ’em in the comments.