They say that if you set infinite monkeys at infinite typewriters, they will eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare.

It wouldn’t surprise me to learn that the entire endeavour of the internet has been set up specifically to test that idea. After all, we’re monkeys (apes, anyway), sitting at our keyboards, in multitudes, typing endlessly. And while another Shakespeare arguably has yet to arise, we’ve certainly produced a lot of interesting works, including a few sentences that you’d really never expect to occur.

These are such sentences, via Twitter. Study them well.

10. The friendetta

When kindness isn’t about morality – it’s about competition.

9. Pressing issues

I value this human panini at 5% of my net worth, thank you very much.

8. Bloody good

Nobody enjoys these – their purpose is hangover curing and socially acceptable day drinking.

7. Ah cheese

There is something unnatural about that stuff. It’s like they’re trying to make me think cheese is a fruit or something.

6. Party time

I guess we really DIDN’T know what was in those things after all.

5. The morning brew

If that’s what it takes to not cook the planet, then fine.

4. The dial up days

I can still imitate the full sequence pretty well.
It was a song we all knew and dared not sing.

3. The Hanks bros

A valuable lesson in what names will do.

2. Cornflake vanilla

We’re all in this now.

1. Coffin and wheezin’

But for real though, throw me in the ocean, idgaf.

There we go, friends. We did it. We said things nobody ever needs to say again.

Do you have any unsaid sentences?

Share them with us in the comments.