Have you seen these tweets?
No, I know you’ve seen tweets. That’s not what I asked. I asked specifically if you’d seen THESE tweets yet. Geez, you need to work on your listening skills. Why are you trying to read with your ears anyway? You’re bad at stuff.
Anyway, like I was saying. Funny tweets. We got ’em here. Let’s have a gander, shall we?
10. The night before Christmas
Well sure because that’s the time when you can drink and stuff.
Night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.
— RandomFun! (@RandomFun_) June 30, 2019
9. Strike a pose
Even a weird little mud fish wants to feel beautiful sometimes.
When a homie posts a selfie. pic.twitter.com/RJX9es1l6Y
— ( °-°) ( °-° ) (°-° ) (@rare_cryptid) February 17, 2021
8. Spud buds
Add a third and watch me explode in the microwave.
when i have to do two tasks in one day pic.twitter.com/7eUXND14I1
— Matt. (@MattTheBrand) February 17, 2021
7. Cruisin’ on down mainstreet
You’re relaxed and feelin’ good…OR ELSE.
Ms. Frizzle: seatbelts everyone!
Arnold: please let this be a normal field trip
Ms. Frizzle: *cocks glock* who said that
— your bff alex (@psybermonkey) February 23, 2018
6. American strong
I tipped him more than I could afford because I know he doesn’t get paid what he needs to live.
Everything’s going great.
paying $23 for a lukewarm hamburger delivered by a guy who has never had health insurance, our economy is running flawlessly
— Django Gold (@django) February 14, 2021
5. Mind the gap
Ah, I see, well that’s alright then, can you start tomorrow?
oh the gap on my resume? i can totally explain. i was hanging out
— Liv 😛 (@as_a_vegetarian) February 14, 2021
If you ain’t buyin’, you ain’t livin’.
Welcome to America pic.twitter.com/itfe0ky7XI
— Hi, it's Abby. Yep (@abbycohenwl) September 14, 2019
3. The truth is out there
Isn’t that a Batman sidekick or villain or something?
Mulder: Scully, have you ever heard of a… catboy?
Scully: Do you mean those young men who wear skirts on the internet?
Mulder, chuckling: No, Scully, I'm talking about… [throws down folder labelled CLASSIFIED] …the real thing.
— the twink with no name (@postingtwink) February 12, 2021
2. True therapy
And how does that make you feel?
Therapist: let's look at why you feel like such a big dumb loser
Me: I didn't say that
Therapist [looks at notes]: well one of us did
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) July 9, 2016
1. Classic art
I’ve seen this in person, it definitely feels like there’s a magnificently trollish energy to pit.
"yeah of course I can paint your ceiling." Michelangelo scoffed to himself, "gonna paint a bunch of dudes with they dick outs on it tho"
— the garbage shit boy (@davedittell) June 13, 2013
See THOSE are the tweets I was talking about. Have you seen them? Oh, I guess you have now. Man. This was a good hang, we should do it again sometime.
Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?
Tell us in the comments.