Welp, it’s that time of day again. The time when you find yourself scrolling through tweets and just sort of admiring how great they are. How funny. How true. How…twittery.
This particular batch of tweets is from some of the funniest women on the platform, and we hope that you enjoy them as much as we did.
Let’s get into the funny, shall we?
10. Plugged in
If you plug it in the right away around on the first try I’m pretty sure you’re automatically granted a doctorate in computer engineering.
whenever i plug in a USB it’s like okay woman in STEM vibes
— anja (@internetanja) March 29, 2021
9. The Stanley effect
I’d never considered this before, but you are absolutely correct.
The fact that Stanley Tucci is so fine despite his name being Stanley only underpins the power of his fineness and yes I’ve had 3 wines send tweet.
— Camilla Blackett (@camillard) March 29, 2021
8. Decisions, decisions
Great, now I have a new thing to ruminate over.
thinking about how many times i’ve probs been killed in fuck marry kill
— sadie (@sadiedumont) March 29, 2021
7. The basics
“Sorry, not everybody made the list this year.”
D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs
— chase (@_chase_____) March 31, 2021
6. A game of telephone
I dunno, a lot of America seems to think this is fine.
Just listened to my dad try to explain my dissertation to the rest of my family and I now understand why hearsay is inadmissible in court.
— Jaclyn A. Siegel ☀️ (@jacasiegel) March 27, 2021
5. Oh, man
I guess I have probably never said the word in jubilation, come to think of it.
notice how we say “man” whenever we’re disappointed
— avi ༄★ (@asherberdacs) January 15, 2021
4. That escalated quickly
Pharaoh was a scab.
the ten plagues are a classic example of a union escalation plan
— ? (@daniellesmitle) March 28, 2021
3. Cats and dogs
Whatever your dog’s name, you’ll have to actually call it, frequently in public.
A cat wouldn’t answer to its name for all the treats in the world so it literally doesn’t matter.
Dog owners will pick names like max or bailey and cat owners will literally name their cat beef stroganoff
— Jennifer Xiao (@jxiaoo) March 27, 2021
2. Shoot my shot
Will someone please take me home?
can’t wait to put “fully vaccinated” on my dating profiles like an adoptable dog
— Molly Priddy (@mollypriddy) March 27, 2021
1. Check it out
I have so many ways to do this thing I hate!
You ever just be on your computer checking email and then pick up your phone…to check your email? ?
— Amy Aniobi (@janiobi) March 28, 2021
And that, friends, is a quality Twitter time. Thanks for joining us.
Who are your favorite ladies to follow on Twitter, and why?
Tell us in the comments.