I’ve never actually read the books of A Series of Unfortunate Events. Never watched the movie either. Or the Netflix show. There was a Netflix show, right? Probably. There’s a Netflix show of everything.
Anyway, the reason I’ve never bothered looking into any of those literary experiences is that I already know that story. It’s the story I read every time I open up Twitter and scroll through for a moment. Twitter, and indeed the internet at large, is very little more than a series of unfortunate events.
And these ten are perhaps among the most unfortunate.
10. This person who apparently hadn’t heart of the twist
It’s not even the twist, really. It’s the inciting incident. You poor thing.
— Hype (@TheHypeStreet_) May 19, 2018
9. These very online siblings who don’t know about cooking
Turns out fire burns things.
— sad yuisis simp (@zirkahn) June 26, 2020
8. This homemade fast food
The cardboard is fine. The paper is even probably fine. The styrofoam plate…why?
i almost burnt my house down for some leftover mcdonalds ? pic.twitter.com/NioPE8iENo
— pupy bitch (@Iycanroc) May 10, 2021
7. This poor British boy
Wait, how do they say Tuesday over there?
I. FUCKING. HATE. DISCORD.
All the Americans in the servers make me say tuesday and shout go British boy go
— Silly Kitty (@LightblueCath) April 21, 2020
6. This crushed crusher
Excuse me, just need to go die inside for a while.
me and my crush talked last night about her crush.
— ̶M̶o̶s̶t̶a̶f̶a̶? (@zmexxr) July 11, 2019
5. This would-be chef
How any of us have survived this long is a mystery.
THIS IS REALLY SAD THEYRE STILL HARD AS HELL AND COLORLESS am i doing this wrong
— Kumiho (@Kumiho__) April 4, 2020
4. This tupper warrior
Seriously people, stop trying to cook materials that aren’t food.
Turns out you can’t air fry tupperware pic.twitter.com/555R9niutA
— m*ds™️ (@aretteepls) June 19, 2021
3. This only fan
Well, what are you gonna do about it now.
Wanted to prank my gf by saying I saw her on OF and she apologized. pic.twitter.com/aqqOjof2SU
— anya_stan_account (@olfashioncowboy) August 3, 2021
2. This slow-declining clout chaser
We’re all the clown some days.
Nope, it’s 5 now
— ? (@AdetokunboIken1) April 7, 2020
1. This person on a zero waste journey
Of all the weird things about this tweet, I think the most underrated is that apparently this person makes pasta for breakfast.
day one of my zero waste journey! used my pasta water from breakfast to make my coffee ?✨ pic.twitter.com/yzPfjypueA
— madison the hoelitariat (@madibskatin) May 21, 2020
i said “day one of my zero waste journey! used my pasta water from breakfast to make my coffee ?✨”
— madison the hoelitariat (@madibskatin) May 22, 2020
Some very unfortunate events indeed.
How have you failed recently?
Regale us with the tale in the comments.