I’ve never actually read the books of A Series of Unfortunate Events. Never watched the movie either. Or the Netflix show. There was a Netflix show, right? Probably. There’s a Netflix show of everything.

Anyway, the reason I’ve never bothered looking into any of those literary experiences is that I already know that story. It’s the story I read every time I open up Twitter and scroll through for a moment. Twitter, and indeed the internet at large, is very little more than a series of unfortunate events.

And these ten are perhaps among the most unfortunate.

10. This person who apparently hadn’t heart of the twist

It’s not even the twist, really. It’s the inciting incident. You poor thing.

9. These very online siblings who don’t know about cooking

Turns out fire burns things.

8. This homemade fast food

The cardboard is fine. The paper is even probably fine. The styrofoam plate…why?


7. This poor British boy

Wait, how do they say Tuesday over there?

6. This crushed crusher

Excuse me, just need to go die inside for a while.

5. This would-be chef

How any of us have survived this long is a mystery.

4. This tupper warrior

Seriously people, stop trying to cook materials that aren’t food.

3. This only fan

Well, what are you gonna do about it now.

2. This slow-declining clout chaser

We’re all the clown some days.

1. This person on a zero waste journey

Of all the weird things about this tweet, I think the most underrated is that apparently this person makes pasta for breakfast.

Some very unfortunate events indeed.

How have you failed recently?

Regale us with the tale in the comments.