Dating profiles these days are about two things: pictures and banter.

How much work you choose to put into either or both is going to determine a lot, and some of us didn’t come here to play.

These are ten Tinder profiles from women who don’t have any chill about this whole thing, and it’s great.

10. Going viral

Remember back when it was like a fun adventurous little camping trip and then we realized our lives were just over?

9. Get your head in the game

I didn’t come to play, I came to win. Now let’s play!

8. Far, far away

It’s almost like I’m really having a personal interaction with someone!

7. Making the sale

Hey that sounds pretty – oh. Ooooohhhh.

6. Aggressively cute

You heard the lady.

5. Take your pick

Let’s do this the old fashioned way, by which I mean how things were like five years ago.

4. Nice to meat you

A classic, but a classic for a reason.

3. A contradiction in terms

I had to read it a couple of times.

2. Showing a lot of character

Much appreciated, thank you.

1. Heck on wheels

That’s the kind of hero’s backstory that I think we can all get behind.

Have fun chasing folks on Tinder, everybody. The less witty of us will just be waiting here to hear about your exploits. Make ’em count.

What’s the best app date you ever had?

Tell us in the comments.