Diets suck. They just suck. They’re the worst. All your fitness friends who are always posting about how amazing their new diet is? They’re liars. Your friends are liars.

I don’t care if they’ve been with you from the start. I don’t care if they saved you from drowning in the pond that one winter at the cabin. They’re liars and they can’t be trusted.

Anyone on the side of diets is inherently duplicitous. And anyone who understands that, and who can make a good meme about it, is alright by me.

12. Dog gone

When I went shopping, I didn’t realize it was for me.

11. Wall-e

A surprising number of these are about dog representation and I’m here for it.

10. Fry day

You had me at supersize.

9. Low carb, low life

Einstein was right, time is definitely relative.

8. Work (five bucks) out (from my wallet)

Welcome to the treadmill, can I take your order?

7. The juice cleanse

Hey man, it’s all made from grapes.

6. The chomp

Ok but the person in this picture is already clearly very thin, so shush.

5. Meal prepping

I’m not messing around. I know what a balanced meal looks like.

4. Death my chocolate

Chicken wings really will be the end of me someday.

3. Midnight madness

Well well well, I thought I might find you here.

2. Progress made

Hey, good for you!

1. Burn it to the ground

Happy dieting, everybody!

Ok I gotta go order a pizza.

How’s your diet going?

Be honest in the comments.