I’ve never been hunting, but if it’s anything like job hunting, I can only assume that it’s incredibly tedious, repetitive, and that you find yourself often going to great lengths to kill animals you don’t actually even want to eat.
Job hunting can be frustrating. The whole market can be frustrating. Good thing we have tweets like this with which we can commiserate.
10. The most important meal of the day
If you have those here I will be a loyal employee for all time. I will die for this company, mark my words.
*Me in a job interview*
I’d say my biggest weakness is breakfast tacos
— BigKidProblems (@BigKidProblems) July 10, 2021
9. High bar
“If you enjoy a miserable existence, this is the place for you, ya weird masochist.”
i hate applying for jobs because the employers are always like: do you enjoy working in a stressful environment???? do you strive for unobtainable standards of perfection???? are you good at dealing with people that make you feel extremely uncomfortable???
— K.Diallo ☭ (@nyeusi_waasi) February 27, 2021
8. The resume
And then also type out a cover letter which essentially says the same stuff.
[applying for jobs]
Upload your resume!
[30 seconds later]
Got it! Now please type your resume again by hand lol
— Michael Karlik (@michaelkarlik) November 26, 2017
7. The future tense
One thing at a time, one day at a time.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
5 years? Look im just trying to make it to Friday!
— Niranjan Shendge 🇮🇳 (@NiranjanShendge) March 24, 2021
6. An exclusive club
nObOdY wAnTS tO wOrK ANyMoRe
Jobs: NOW HIRING
Jobs: Not u tho lol
— Love.vaeeh (@LVaeeh) June 10, 2019
5. Mad skills
But, college comedies assured me this was vital and important.
Me: *At a Job interview*
Being able to take off a 6 hook bra with one hand is not a skill.
You mean my whole life is a lie???
— Mohammed Islam (@MindsTyrant) October 13, 2019
4. Trying to deal
I’d rather not, thank you.
Do you prefer to deal with things in person or over the phone?
— Matt Gallo (@mattgallo123) August 19, 2016
3. The big questions
Kid, I think you’re gonna go far in this business.
Me: how is it that we assume dinosaurs roared, when they could've just talked like us right?
Interviewer: i meant questions about the job
— walt (@th3wobot) April 12, 2016
2. A new hope
I guess it’s not all bad, huh?
I had a job interview today. Is this hope? Is this what hope feels like? This is nice. No wonder people like this
— Lord Hugh Mungus (@PoodleSnarf) July 23, 2021
1. Might get lucky
If this gig doesn’t work out, no worries, I’ve got a one in a hundred million chance of something to fall back on.
I show up to job interviews with dozens of scratch-off lottery tickets stuffed in my shirt pocket. Lets them know I don’t need the job.
— J.P. McDade (@jp_mcdade) August 8, 2021
Jobs. Can’t live with ’em, literally can’t live without ’em. Best of luck to anybody out there on the hunt right now!
What’s the worst job interview you ever had, and why?
Tell us about it in the comments.