Hey ladies, could you use a laugh today? I’ll bet you could. Know how I know? Because you’re a human people, and human people could always use a laugh. Sometimes it’s the only thing we COULD use. Aside from, yanno, money.

But I can’t give you any money. Instead, I offer only these funny tweets.

Take of the bounty. Have a giggle. Amen.

10. Bear with me a moment

If they’re so ferocious, how come they’re always adorably selling me toilet paper?

9. Asking a lot

This whole “celebrities apparently don’t shower much” thing has been blowing my mind.

8. Squirrel Power

Why haven’t we made this yet? What are you guys, busy? Chop chop.

7. Some big issues

“Ok, so, we’ve all got the hots for our mothers, right?”
“Um…slow down a minute.”


6. Prep time

You can’t just go in cold, you gotta understand WHY them asking me for a pen was unforgivable.

5. Hate being the new kid

It’s like you’ve never been anywhere before and you were just born and everything is horrible.

4. The doggo ascends

I’ve never thought these things were real.

3. Bird brained

You’re just a person. A supremely tired and cranky person.

2. The goof

I’m sorry, you can be that coordinated while high?
I am thoroughly impressed and fairly hungry.


More straightforward messaging than we’ve had from our own governments lately.

Give all those folks a follow for more funny. They know where it lives. It lives in their brains.

Who else should we be following on Twitter?

Give us some of your favorites in the comments.