Today we’ve got ten tweets by ladies, for ladies.
If you’re not a lady, but instead some other type of person, it is illegal for you to look at these tweets. And don’t get us started on laughing at them. Ooooh, you’re going away for a long time if you chuckle out of turn here.
So watch your step. Know your bounds. And proceed in accordance with the law.
Or maybe I’ve got that all wrong, I don’t know, I’m not a lawyer.
10. Pocket protectors
It’s like if you tried to teach AI to design them.
Women: we want clothes with functional pockets
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) February 15, 2021
9. Hot times
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts
might stand under the scalding hot shower for 3 hrs straight just to feel something again
— Ｓｏｌ (@solsayswhaaa) February 19, 2021
8. A sporting chance
Well hey there, let’s strike up a chat.
I've never been stuck in a sports bra
-me flirting ᵛᵉʳʸ ᵖᵒᵒʳˡʸ
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) February 15, 2021
I feel like our bodies should pretty much have had a factory recall at this point.
Ah my period just ended so finally I’ll go back to feeling normal for three days
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) October 24, 2020
6. Pillow talk
That’s absolutely absurd.
You need to put your mask on.
answering the door for delivery pic.twitter.com/uiONkkmffe
— Maggie? Winters? (@saggiesplinters) February 17, 2021
5. What a nightmare
How are criminal mugshots literally more flattering than these?
In hell you look like your drivers license picture.
— Possum Kingdom 🖤 (@aissalanis) February 15, 2021
4. The girls
How to liberate even within limits.
“Now my girls, if there is anything I can teach you, let it be this one”
*removes bra while still wearing shirt*
— Momdamnit (@momdamnit1) September 19, 2020
3. The waiting game
Oh, is somebody feeling just a tiny bit insecure?
When your ex's new girlfriend accidentally likes one of your pics from 2014 at 3am in the morning. pic.twitter.com/LQsA8PZ6Zb
— Back Benchers 2.0 (@backbencherssss) February 5, 2021
2. Sole mates
Dude must have one heck of a foot fetish to know some toes but not a face.
Says you are the love of his life. Forgets what you look like and has to put a shoe on every girl in the kingdom… pic.twitter.com/fwFrrqXKVV
— 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐚𝐱𝐨 𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐠 (@selfcarenasa_) April 26, 2019
1. A good hang
Just the right flavor of solitude to get me through the night.
me getting ready to hang out in my room and take selfies pic.twitter.com/8jbRIKNdYQ
— 🤎 geni 🤎 (@strwbrryyoongii) August 5, 2020
Well that was fun! Except I just realized, I’m not a lady. Was it illegal for me to read those? I’ll turn myself in now.
Who’s your favorite funny woman to follow on Twitter?
Tell us in the comments.