Today we’ve got some tweets that are just for you. No seriously. Only you. Nobody else is allowed to look at them. They are top secret and hand-selected. By secret hands. The kind that don’t go waving at just anyone.

So come on, have a look. Don’t embarrass me in front of the secret hands. Enjoy these tweets that are just for you.

10. A waist of time

I’m not sure that’s going to go over like you imagine it might.

9. Wild times

Maybe we shouldn’t be playing God like this all the time.

8. Dress for the part

I do that too except it’s less out of vanity and more horror.

7. Salt and vinegar

They shouldn’t taste good together, and they don’t, but also they do?

6. Cut me some slack

I’m slacking off too much for slack.

5. Teeth teeth teeth teeth!

“And to make it less weird we say they got stolen by a demon that your parents know!”

4. Nailed it

I’ll be back in a few hours, thanks.

3. Dead serious

Till death do us nap.

2. Space exploration

There ya go, now go end world hunger.

1. Pix

Maybe you need to be a little more specific in what you ask for.

We hope you enjoyed that collection of personal tweets, just for you. Whatever you do, don’t share them with anyone. They are for your eyes only. Your special eyes.

Who’s your favorite person to follow on Twitter? What is it about them that makes them such a good read?

Tell us in the comments.