Do you need a little food for thought? Something delicious and tangy? An intellectual fourth meal, if you will?
Well look no further. Pull out your napkin and put it on your head, or whatever one does when they’re about to consume thought food, because we’ve got some tweets to feast on that will leave you comfort-burping for a week.
Ready? Bon appetit.
10. Bug out
I need to know what kind too, that’s going to determine the amount of screaming.
if yo house got bugs u need to include dat when i ask who all over there
— miss martian (@f8the) June 9, 2021
9. Pride and joy
They a little mixed up but they got the spirit.
my poor parents bought me a pride balloon for my graduation because they thought it meant they were proud of me 😭 pic.twitter.com/FeusU7qw6a
— Fatima (@fatimaxsr) June 9, 2021
8. Warning signs
Yeah that’s a test that I think 99.99% of us will be found to have failed miserably.
I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I’ve just been asked in a job interview if I used lockdown “to pursue any passion projects or personal development.”
— Elvis Buñuelo (@Mr_Considerate) June 8, 2021
7. Private time
This has big “dad is about to get unreasonably mad at you for relaxing” vibes.
When your parents open the door without knocking pic.twitter.com/vgnjHDp8G0
— Josiah Johnson (@KingJosiah54) June 6, 2021
6. A little snack
I don’t know why but that suddenly makes this gross.
Vegan shrimp 😍 pic.twitter.com/BfNLAE5sew
— Next Up 🏁 (@DemarcoBroadus) June 12, 2021
5. The transitive properties
I invite all nerds in the comments to exhaustively explain why this is incorrect.
Sam being able to carry Frodo and not be effected by the ring means the ring doesn’t understand transitive properties so they could have just taped the ring to a mouse and then carried the mouse with no ill effects. Whole thing would have taken 20 minutes.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) June 8, 2021
This is terrible, we’re all going to a very bad place for this.
Love these colorized old photos, they really make history come to life pic.twitter.com/y4M360S5bw
— Gavin Mueller (@gavinmuellerphd) June 6, 2021
3. Listen up
One of the best uses of exposition/foreshadowing in a movie ever.
when you're about to just absolutely fucking destroy a shithead kid who doesn't respect dinos pic.twitter.com/t2ip9T7t48
— Ethan Booker (@Ethan_Booker) April 1, 2017
2. Zooming out
*Psycho noise intensifies*
when I leave the Zoom and my smile disappears I do feel like a serial killer
— JP (@jpbrammer) June 10, 2021
1. Theological debates
That kid is gonna hit me with the cosmological argument and I’mma smack back with the problem of evil.
I called the number and debated this baby for an hour pic.twitter.com/5REBYAY6yL
— Mohanad Elshieky (@MohanadElshieky) June 6, 2021
Is your brain full yet? With delicious Twitter mind food? We probably should have mentioned that it’s mostly empty calories, but we won’t tell if you don’t tell.
Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?
Tell us in the comments.