When you start to read each of these tweets, you may, in your arrogance, in your destructive hubris common to all humankind, mistakenly believe that you know where they’re going.

You will be wrong.

Humble yourself now before the profound randomness of the internet. Be still, and know that secrets await you.

For the twists and turns in these tweets are rarely foreseen. Let us begin our journey of discovery.

10. No bones about it

Is it I who am you, or is it you who are me?


9. Living that life

Surely you’re not convicting people in the afterlife, right?

8. A win/win situation

The people I despise most in the world are mostly billionaires, I don’t think they’d even notice this kind of money.

7. Blowin’ up

Oh well that seems very serio- oh wait.

6. All dolled up

My sister had a bunch of these growing up and now I’m terrified in retrospect.

5. Oh deer

Inside of you there are two wolves.
You have a very short time to live.

4. Curse you

What did we like, come in and take over a bunch of stuff that wasn’t ours?

3. Paint with all the colors of the white

Don’t set yourself up for this kind of thing, Seth.

2. Have yourself a wild time

I’ve said too much. I must go. I must start a new life in a new town again.

1. Ring ring ring

Ugh, god, it’s like all day with this place.

I’ll bet you don’t even know how this post is going to end.



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