Life is full of problems both big and small, and it’s hard to know where to turn for answers.
Some find comfort in the wisdom of their family elders. Others seek the light of religion. Still others devote themselves to tireless philosophy, psychology, or a meditative state of transcendence.
But if you want to stop playing around and actually find the answers you seek, you don’t need to look any further than Twitter. Here are some thoughts on a few different subjects, via that all-important social network.
10. Parking tickets
All you gotta do is act a little crazy and people stop wanting to deal with you.
pleading insanity to get out of a $14.00 parking ticket
— Austin (@adoptedhighway) June 10, 2021
Just throw your computer in a river, then go live in the woods.
I hope this email doesn't find you. I hope you've escaped, that you're free.
— ¢har? (@shesatornado) June 10, 2021
8. Writer’s block
There’s no idea so bad that it might not potentially become iconic.
A 90s Disney exec reclines with his feet on the conference table. He takes a few puffs from his cigar.
"Goofy should have a dead wife."
— Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) February 25, 2017
Give them what they want and suddenly they’ll sing a different tune.
If I get pushed in a pool this summer I'm not swimming back up, enjoy your murder charge. Now everybody summer ruined?
— Unbalanced quotes (@unbalancedquote) June 8, 2021
Brenda I dare you to tell me what’s in those stupid supplements you’re always hawking.
"You're really gonna get that vaccine when you don't know what's in it?" sir I don't know whats in anything
— ??????? (@SandwichGhoul) June 10, 2021
5. Societal corruption
This handy chart should answer everything!
I'm always confusing the names of various ominous organizations so I made a handy chart to keep track pic.twitter.com/A12DozNKNs
— Bon Ivermectin (@chelounger) June 10, 2021
When it’s for me, it’s great, when it’s for you, you’re lazy.
Getting annoyed with him for being on his phone after I get bored of being on mine
— Ankita Das (@_wickedoutsider) June 27, 2020
Don’t let anyone put out your bright spark.
fellas, the women have you convinced that cargo shorts are unsexy because they dont want you carrying around useful tools and trinkets. dont be fooled
— chad gut truster (@uncledoomer) June 11, 2021
2. Pet care
If it’s not absolutely full, it’s empty.
When there hasn’t been any Fancy Feast for 25 minutes pic.twitter.com/d5G2TIQv8y
— Julicorn ? (@ChicksRule) June 10, 2021
1. Alternative medicine
There might be something slightly fishy going on here.
doctor: I’ve written you a prescription here. Follow that and let’s check in next week. It should help with your symptoms but if it doesn’t we’ll know more.
chiropractor sprinting to double kick you in the neck: say goodbye to IBS
— warrior cop (@wyatt_privilege) October 7, 2019
There now. Solutions to all of your problems. Or at least helpful thoughts on them? Maybe? Ok, mostly just time-wasting tweets but that’s fun too.
Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?
Tell us in the comments.