You ready for some M. Night Shyamalan style twists? ‘Cause we’re about to blow your minds.
First twist – did you know that you’ve almost definitely been pronouncing that director’s name wrong? Seriously. It’s kind of difficult to explain the pronunciation via standard text here, but go look up how it’s supposed to sound.
You’ve been saying it wrong for years, haven’t you? Boom.
But we’re not just here to talk about ever-declining masters of cinematic weirdness. We’re here to look at twists in a different context: that of the humble tweet.
Let’s get in there and get our expectations subverted.
10. I am Steve Rodgers?
These colors and design elements are common to like, tons of flags.
But we’re America so it’s the only one that counts.
https://twitter.com/Swissburner/status/1152353647600242689
9. Two by two
I see you living your life and sneaking past, well done lions.
Good luck breeding those lions, Noah 🙈 pic.twitter.com/7eXfMUhoZj
— Katie Purkiss (@KatiePurkiss) December 5, 2014
8. The takeover
You can’t possibly do any worse than we already have.
Aliens invade: "EARTHLINGS, WE HAVE KILLED YOUR LEADERS, DESTROYED YOUR ECONOMY, AND ARE HERE TO TAKE OVER YOUR GOVERNMENT"
Humans: "oh thank fucking god"
Aliens: "wait what?"
— ALCA 🔞 Demon Goddess of Lust (@Flailmorpho_) October 9, 2020
7. Beat with me
It’s almost unbearable where this goes.
Imagine being held at gunpoint (bear with me) by a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) tweeting a coded message
— Dennis Farrell (@DennisFarrell) April 26, 2017
6. Mind the gap
Everything comes down to pronunciation.
Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?
Me: That’s when I went to Yale.
Interviewer: That’s impressive. You are hired.
Me: Thanks. I really need this Yob.
— Víkrám (@gvicks) November 4, 2019
5. In the hood
Hey man, I don’t make the rules around here. I just calls ’em like I sees ’em.
Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend
Friend: wow thanks. I'm rich!
Robin [narrows eyes]: you’re what
— Glenn (@Shenaniglenns) February 18, 2020
4. If I ran the zoo
I’ve already said too much. I must go.
Therapist: Have you ever had a job?
Me: I once worked at a zoo
Therapist: Great! And what did you take from that?
Me: Definitely not a penguin
Therapist: what
Me: what
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) January 7, 2020
3. The cooler
There are some jobs where this just isn’t appropriate.
[phone ringing]☎️
boss: why the hell aren't you picking that up. 😠
me: i always answer on the third ring, makes me seem cooler. 😎
boss: PICK IT UP!!!😡
me: [rolling eyes] fine [picks up phone] 911 what's your emergency. 😒
— Eddi Adeen (@EddiAdeen) July 18, 2019
2. Oh, baby
You can’t fool me, I know the rules of road engagement.
When a "Baby On Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up you know the kid is at least a year or two old now and the car is safe to ram he he
— nana barb (@barbaralynnjoy) March 17, 2019
1. Cut me in
Oh believe me, there’s LOTS more where that came from.
Cop: you're going to prison for forgery
Me *slides him a 37 dollar bill* what about now
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) July 17, 2020
What a twist!
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