Are you looking for a bright spot in this world? A VERY bright spot? Did you think that you’d found it but then you realized you were thinking of the sun and that you can’t keep staring at that because it’s hurting your eyes?
Well, quit being dumb and find a better bright spot with me. Eleven of them, in fact, in the form of these Tweets.
11. Hide and seek
“Sent from none of your business. You’ll never discover my dwelling.”
I hope this email doesn't find you. I hope you've escaped, that you're free.
— ¢har? (@shesatornado) June 10, 2021
10. A Goofy Movie
Did you know this was written by one of the same guys who wrote the Bill and Ted movies?
A 90s Disney exec reclines with his feet on the conference table. He takes a few puffs from his cigar.
"Goofy should have a dead wife."
— Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) February 25, 2017
9. A sign of the times
Why is he specifically interested in mittens and how does he manage to get so many?
Sign of the day. pic.twitter.com/fgr0vC4Z0O
— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) June 10, 2021
8. A little push
Unless we’re in high school and you’re trying to flirt, this needs to stop.
If I get pushed in a pool this summer I’m not swimming back up, ENJOY YOUR MURDER CHARGE ??
— ? (@finedominicann) June 7, 2021
7. What’s in it?
People who ask this question are generally the same ones who will list off chemicals they know nothing about and then just stare at you like you should be scared.
"You're really gonna get that vaccine when you don't know what's in it?" sir I don't know whats in anything
— ??????? (@SandwichGhoul) June 10, 2021
6. The chart
It’s like a cool way to remember how screwed up our society is.
I'm always confusing the names of various ominous organizations so I made a handy chart to keep track pic.twitter.com/A12DozNKNs
— (ac)Reddited Investor (@chelounger) June 10, 2021
5. The pain
There’s no way this is for real.
Date an older guy they said pic.twitter.com/9liLAQZ5ae
— carolyn (@ballerguy) June 10, 2021
4. The annoyance game
That relationship sounds like a lot of fun.
Getting annoyed with him for being on his phone after I get bored of being on mine
— Ankita Das (@_wickedoutsider) June 27, 2020
3. Cargo shorts
They have a power that many find intimidating and few can harness.
fellas, the women have you convinced that cargo shorts are unsexy because they dont want you carrying around useful tools and trinkets. dont be fooled
— chad gut truster (@uncledoomer) June 11, 2021
2. The fancy feast
I think there’s something wrong with your dog.
When there hasn’t been any Fancy Feast for 25 minutes pic.twitter.com/d5G2TIQv8y
— Julicorn ? (@ChicksRule) June 10, 2021
1. Know the difference
It’s a profession that might just not be all it’s cracked up to be.
doctor: I’ve written you a prescription here. Follow that and let’s check in next week. It should help with your symptoms but if it doesn’t we’ll know more.
chiropractor sprinting to double kick you in the neck: say goodbye to IBS
— warrior cop (@wyatt_privilege) October 7, 2019
So bright! I can barely see!
What Twitter accounts do you enjoy following the most?
Tell us in the comments.