Oh Twitter, what would I do without you? Be productive? Do my work? Clean my apartment? Get back in contact with loved ones?
That all sounds lame. I’d much rather scroll endlessly through the strangeness scape that is Twitter. Especially now that they’ve sort of done some housecleaning of their own. Without the absolute worst bottom 5% of users or so, it’s all in all a much more pleasant place to be. It’s easier to find cool and funny tweets, like these ones here.
12. 101 demands
Also you might wanna just go ahead and organize some protests against the fur industry.
if you are one of 101 dalmatians personally i think you should unionize
— hunter harris (@hunteryharris) February 16, 2021
11. Dang libs
The bald hypocrisy and apathy is just absolutely stunning.
I’m sorry, but if you’ve never dropped your kids off in Cancun for a play date during a pandemic and a humanitarian crisis in your home state that’s probably because you’re just a liberal Hollywood elitist with no values.
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) February 18, 2021
10. Among gus
It’s darker than you could possibly imagine.
I want the gritty backstory of Gus Gus. pic.twitter.com/eJ4PZ1PvTJ
— Heart Brecher (@heart_brecher) February 17, 2021
9. How the cookie crumbles
You monster – that’s the most evil thing I can imagine.
Stfu before I open a nature valley bar on ur bed pic.twitter.com/Oh6vjinQ69
— lacking sleep?➐ (@golickthefloor) February 11, 2021
8. What gives?
“I am so firing our travel agent.” – birds who still have travel agents, I guess.
I know the birds that flew south for winter mad as hell right now.
— goddesz ? (@deszj) February 15, 2021
7. Mind the gap
You know that’s how we do.
oh the gap on my resume? i can totally explain. i was hanging out
— Liv 😛 (@as_a_vegetarian) February 14, 2021
6. Incorporeal hotness
It’s a beauty that surpasses even my understanding.
“hottie with a body” implies the existence of “hottie without a body”……how do i become HER
— sara david (@SaraQDavid) February 17, 2021
Time to get involved in everybody’s business!
good time to play the game Did They Not Post or Did They Break Up?
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) February 15, 2021
4. Level up!
Wake me when it’s time for the twos.
great news uglies, all LA sixes and under are now eligible for the vaccine
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) February 15, 2021
This is it, this wins, the meme is over now.
babe what’s wrong? you’ve hardly embodied my idealized version of you today
— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) February 16, 2021
2. Stay with me
You’ll never leave…not while I have anything to say about it.
made my boyfriend a special pandemic valentine’s cake pic.twitter.com/Gy8ihGqu8J
— monicaheisey (@monicaheisey) February 13, 2021
1. In theory
You laugh but I’ve heard people really say crap like this.
wait, albert einstein was a real person? I thought he was a THEORETICAL physicist
— Samantha Wyss ? (@samantha_wyss) December 9, 2014
I can’t imagine what I would do without Twitter, and I don’t have to, because it’s here.
Who are your favorite people to follow?
Tell us in the comments.