The wonderful, terrible thing about the internet is that it’s always leading to new discoveries.

Wonderful because some of them are great, terrible because a lot of them are things you truly never wanted to know.

But discovering these tweets? There’s nothing wrong with that. Not in the slightest.

13. Psounds pepfect

Gotta shoot your shot.

12. Ready for the meltdown

I had to Google this because I didn’t believe it, but yeah, she’s right. That’s the man’s name.

11. Taking notice

Take notice that you’re on notice for my notice.

10. Count on it

You might think you know where this is going, but I promise you, you don’t.

9. Where no mango has gone before

Gotta get it all.

8. Barking and biting

It’s a really ruff environment, you know?

7. Options

Cool. Neat. The rest of us aren’t’ made of gold.

6. Hedge your bets

Now I finally understand why The Shining was so scary.

5. Literally me



Here comes the BOOM ready or not – here come the pants from the south.

3. The great American novel

So much hope and so much suffering.

2. Another proper look

Oh whatever Brenda, nobody’s buying it.

1. With this ring…

Siri, show me what true insecurity looks like.

Don’t you just feel like you’ve made so many important discoveries today? I know I do. And now I must go forth and spread the knowledge.

Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter? What do you think makes them stand out from all the rest?

Tell us in the comments.