According to the Omicore Agency, about 80% of Twitter users are “affluent millennials.” I’m not entirely sure what their bar is for “affluent” there, but it being mostly my generation sounds about right.
About 42% of people who use Twitter are on the platform every single day. That’s really quite something. That means there are a huge chunk of people around my age coming back to this platform day after day after day.
And for what? To do business? To keep up with the news? To share important information? Nah, mostly to just look at dumb stuff like this.
13. Bread basket
God abandoned us long ago.
warm & toasty pic.twitter.com/FOpjRETAX1
— Nicole McLaughlin (@nicolemclovin) December 29, 2020
12. Closing up
It’s really just time passing, how you decorate that time is up to you.
Closure isn’t real. Cut your hair, get a tattoo, rob a bank and start dating again.
— m i s h (@_moimichelle) December 27, 2020
11. Pay up
Sure hope there was no important info on the other side of that thing.
I love hitting a paywall and being like "guess we'll never know"
— aubrey (@aubreybell) December 29, 2020
10. Quite a stretch
These are just my everyday wear now and we all know it.
there is no greater lie than me calling my yoga pants "yoga pants"
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) December 29, 2020
9. Pull some strings
Did you just nope outta there as fast as you could?
when i got my first gyno exam as a teenager, the gynecologist asked me what I wanted to do for a career. I said I wanted to be an artist. Then while checking my cervix she said- “i wanted to be a muppeteer”.
— ???? ?????? (@joaniejabronie) December 27, 2020
8. Plants and animals
That dog is going to make so many sales today.
could i interest u in plant? pic.twitter.com/uz0IYkh8Ah
— ????????? ?????? (@FrickinDelanie) December 30, 2020
You’re making the right choice.
hi friends- for the new year I’m taking a break from life so I can focus on social media. if you need me you can find me here, constantly
— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) December 31, 2020
6. Write it down
This is all just a part of my process.
I am a WRITER ok I open up my little computer when I have an IDEA and then I BUY THINGS on the INTERNET
— danielle weisberg (@danielleweisber) December 29, 2020
5. Jesus seems sus
Bet he can multiply ’em like loaves and fishes, though.
I am simply saying that if Jesus only had 12 followers maybe he was a bot
— Grace Bahler (@oatmilkforever) December 24, 2020
4. Watch out
They won’t know what didn’t hit them.
I bought myself binoculars for an early birthday gift. Bout to watch tf out of these birds.
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle) December 30, 2020
3. Face facts
It must be exhausting to live like this.
can’t trust a guy who faces the other way whilst you’re sleeping. what’s over there? other women??
— ً (@tularosaax) December 27, 2020
2. Idiot sandwich
Sounds like a weirdly specific fantasy, but no judgement here.
How do I tell my boyfriend that I want him to scream at me in bed like he’s Gordon Ramsey and I am a little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée
— IG: clarkebetz? (@dovenymph) December 31, 2020
Hahaha this is fun America is broken.
WHEN THIS PANDEMIC IS OVER I'M GONNA GO WILD addressing my non-urgent medical issues that i've been ignoring
— dr. dalia malek داليا عبد الملك ☥? (@DALIA) December 28, 2020
Another day, another batch of wonderful tweets.
Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?
Tell us in the comments.