14 of the Most Brutal Burns on This Internet

The internet is pretty much just a place where we go to fight with each other in new and innovative ways.

Luckily, some of those ways are actually funny, and some fighters use their knowledge and wits to make the battle as sophisticated and satisfying as it is brutal.

Such is the way with these particular entries. Players – start!

14. If you don’t like it, leave

It’s fun to pair your heartlessness with insults so everybody knows right away you don’t actually care what happens to anybody who isn’t you.

Hey Tomi, Washington Post shithole bureau chief here. Love your foreign affairs reporting. Did you know there are 8.7 million Americans living overseas? Can’t imagine why they would leave home. https://t.co/Vazd6Ts3Pe

— Kevin Sieff (@ksieff) January 12, 2018

13. Over the moon

What I love about this reply is the the original tweet is gone now and it doesn’t even matter because it’s a one-size-fits-all rebuttal.

Buddy it’s saturday night and you’re talking to a marshmallow sandwich on the internet https://t.co/vniddPmGoC

— MoonPie (@MoonPie) December 17, 2017

12. Just imagine

I’ll bet you’d like a little of that splash now that ya burnt so bad, huh?

imagine waiting nine months to give birth and it's you

— Magikarp The Fish (@Magikarp_Fish) August 1, 2016

11. The gold standard

An absolute classic, the metaphor we all need.

10. Under pressure

The thing about gay marriage is that “believing in it” is irrelevant.
It’s just a thing that happens.
It’s not the Loch Ness Monster.

9. Soup’s on

Ok but how though?

8. The they

Seriously, everyone I grew up with used “they” as a gender-neutral singular all the time and didn’t have a problem with it until people started asking them to.

7. Absolutely smoked

You walked right into that one.

6. This is relevant

English is just a stew.

5. Under control

We get it, you’re vaped.

4. Would love to come

It’s five bucks dude, that’s like one beer.

3. Densely speaking

Shine bright like a diamond.

2. Soup strikes back!

No idea if this response is real but I want it to be.

1. Just a little bit

Let’s get way down deep.

Well I need to go fan myself off after all that heat.

What’s the best comeback you’ve heard recently?

Tell us in the comments.