There are dates that go wrong, and then there are dates that make you stare in a mirror for an hour thinking “what is my life? How has the world come to this?”
The stories we’re gonna look at from Reddit today belong in the latter category.
However weird a date you’ve had in the past, I promise you’re not ready for these.
1. The Craigslist girl
Met a girl on Craigslist (this was a long time ago obviously). After a few messages we set up a date at a bar downtown.
I show up and she’s already there with a guy friend. No biggie I’m thinking, she’s just playing it safe. They are at a two person table and the place is packed. They already have drinks so I grab one for myself and put it on my tab.
Her and her friend proceed to ignore me. Like I say something and neither one acknowledges anything unless I ask a direct question. Even then I get one word answers with attitude.
So I finish my beer pay my bill and leave without saying a word.
Later I get a barrage of messages about how I’m an a**hole for sticking them with their own tab.
2. The Cloverfield monster
He took me to see Cloverfield, kept putting his hand on my thigh with me putting it back in his lap. He stopped and I thought he got the message… instead he tells me he’s motion sick and we have to leave NOW.
He staggers out of the theater brushing against irritated people in their seats. Outside, he pukes into the popcorn bucket while I stand there mortified. We go back to his car and he tells me he is too sick to drive for a while.
I wait a bit trying to think of what to do when I notice him unbuttoning his pants. I ask him what he is doing and he asks if “I want to kiss it?” Got out of the car and went into the lobby and called my sister to pick me up. He was still sitting in his car when we left 45 minutes later.
3. Total control
On our SECOND date he expressed wanting a 100% power exchange 24/7 from the start.
This means he wanted complete control of me. What I wore, where I went to college, etc.
I support whatever safe, consensual BDSM people want to do but that was a serious deal breaker for me.
I think he had serious issues…and he wasn’t funny.
First date with a guy I met on a dating app. I sat down and he immediately was like “Oh yes, you are hotter than your pictures and you’re my girlfriend now.” Came on real strong. I chalked it up to keenness at first (maybe a weird sense of humour?) and figured I’d at least stick around for a drink or two, feel it out.
Even offered to buy the first round, partly as an excuse to get away from the table for a second.
I made some unrelated comment to the bartender that made him laugh, and when I got back to the table, dude LOST HIS S**T. Wanted to know what I said, whether I thought the bartender was good-looking… Had somehow gotten insta-jealous of this bartender five minutes after meeting me.
There was no second drink.
5. The wrong man
Met a lovely girl over Tinder, we really hit it off and had a great conversation, decided to meet in person for coffee the next day.
She showed up on time, looked just like her pictures – and brought her boyfriend.
– [deleted user]
6. Gym rats
1st date with a guy from the gym.
Not only did he spend the dinner portion checking out the Prom girls whose dates had brought them to the same restaurant, but after he was very excited for me to meet Pedro. He was insistent that I “shake hands with Pedro”. Told me how sad Pedro was that I wouldn’t “shake his hand”. Petulant even.
Pedro was his penis. Was also my last date with St. Hillaire and his “friend” Pedro.
7. The date that wasn’t
It was a date that wasn’t. I put an personal ad in the paper (this was back in the day) and agreed to meet this guy at a certain place.
He took one look at me and drove away. He never said a word to me, just look at me and left.
I was very upset when this happened. I guess he didn’t like the way I look.
8. Do it for the gram
When she got mad at me for wanting to leave when all she did the entire time was mess around on her phone and post selfies of her and her coffee I bought her.
Checked her insta profile later on (she wanted me to follow to boost her #s) and the caption was something like “treated myself #blessed #sogood #coffee”
literally couldn’t hold a conversation at all. So self absorbed. Wish I had video of that “date” just to laugh at it again.
9. The match
Met her through Match, I think. She was at least 10 years older than her pic, probably closer to 20 years older. She had scabs on her face and hands.
Spent the entire dinner talking about her ex-husband and how he was still in love with her and how he would secretly leave her presents on her front porch like teddy bears, etc.
I finished the meal and walked her to her car. She tried to lean in for a kiss, and I just turned around and walked away.
10. Like riding a bike – you never forget
2nd date we went biking. Went back to my house and she fell and broke her cervical spine. I had to take her to the ER I work at, she got admitted and put into a halo in the IVU, I met her family there.
We dated for something like 9 mos and she totally ghosts me.
Months later out of the blue I get served by a sheriff, she’s suing me for a million dollars. It goes on and on and even to trial. It comes out she had lied to me, was still married when went on date with me. Worse yet she ghosted me because she was also cheating on me with another guy and was pregnant with him at the time. He even testified about her disability at the trial.
I have trust issues.
Invited a girl from Tinder over to my house after a very sexually charged conversation (led by her!). After bringing her to my place she proceeded to absolutely ignore me and at best give me one-word answers to every line of get-to-know-you conversation, acting like I was inconveniencing her by taking her attention away from her phone. Any time I tried to make a move I got shot down instantly. This went on for a few hours (I put Netflix on).
Just as I was about to say it’s time to leave, with no warning whatsoever she straddled me and started aggressively making out with me, and a bunch of food residue from her mouth got in mine.
She hadn’t brushed her f**king teeth.
I noped out of that and we had a very quiet drive back to her house. Before I even left her driveway she was texting me saying how great it went and that she wanted to see me again soon. Needless to say, that did not happen!
12. Pill pushers
Oh, there was the time a woman kept pushing for me to take some pills from her all night.
She said single mothers only had themselves to blame for sleeping around, and asked me why I had so many minorities in my neighbourhood.
She eventually took some of those pulls at my place, attempted to r**e me, then fell down my stairs when I kicked her out.
After I kicked her out and blocked her on everything, she spent the next few weeks making fake accounts to harass me for rejecting her, and saying I shoved her down the stairs etc.
As a 6’2 male that has worked doors at clubs/bars. Never thought I would have a story of a woman trying to date r**e me, but yep, I do.
13. The shake up
Went on a date with a guy on bumble. We made plans for him to pick me up and go to a local restaurant for dinner. It ended up snowing the night before and developed a layer of ice on top. I suggested rescheduling, but he insisted.
He picked me up, and when leaving my neighborhood, he started to slide on the ice and ended up rear ending the car at the end of my neighborhood. Thankfully everyone was okay. I was pretty shaken up, but we continued on with dinner and the rest of the night was pretty mild.
The following Monday, his insurance ended up calling me and asking what happened. He still asked me out, but ended up standing me up. He claimed “in his older age” he tends to be more forgetful… He was 27.
14. Middle of the night
She phones me morning before our date at 2am to say I am so excited for our date, mid conversation she crashes her car… don’t hear from her till the date, I go to pick her up because she has a lack of car now and she seems… off.
Date gets datey and I take her to fancy sushi place she does not eat one piece but jib jabs the entire time, I slowly establish that she has not slept for a few days now and her eyes are rolling.
I settle the bill and take her home, to a very judgy room mate, as I am walking back to my car I hear a shriek… and she is screaming “Where is my goodnight kiss?!?!?”
My anxiety kicks in and I start running to my car, look back and she is chasing me and also still screaming… neighbours all over her security complex are out their homes but i somehow manage to escape.
Months later I see roommate out on the town and she says “oh yes you were the a**hole who ate all the sushi”
Kinda makes you just want to avoid the entire endeavour, huh?
Do you have any nightmare date stories?
Tell us in the comments.