You need something to brighten your day? Butter your biscuits? Give a dollar to your…nephews?
Whatever odd idiom you prefer for things that make other things seem better, we’re here to help you achieve your goals. Because today we’ve got tweets. Good old fashioned, glorious tweets that are just gonna make you laugh.
That’s all. Enjoy.
14. Muppets after dark
Hey does anybody know how I could maybe unsee something?
the night they had the best sex of their lives pic.twitter.com/O5RlWPYre9
— cullen 'swampenstein trash' crawford (@HelloCullen) September 23, 2021
13. I say neigh
We’re not still doing that, are we?
Band of horses? You mean the glue glue dolls?
— zach reinert (@zachreinert0) February 28, 2020
12. Baby shark
Do do do do do do
hey babe is everything ok you haven’t touched your croisshark pic.twitter.com/6U0nINf33p
— Clare Cons (@macrotargeting) September 22, 2021
11. Call Me Maybe?
I remember making jokes about this like it was yesterday.
I don’t like having this knowledge.
"Call Me Maybe" is 10 years old. The popularity of the song has officially outlasted the concept of calling someone on the phone, and hopefulness
— literary agent needing jerk (@rajandelman) September 22, 2021
10. Our lawyers are standing by
I was very much born without my consent.
alive? you may be entitled to compensation
— taming fred savage (halloween version) (@FredTaming) September 21, 2021
9. The big twist
I have something similar – whenever someone turns on The Masked Singer I put a plastic bag over my head.
I WATCH ‘THE VOICE’ WITH MY BACK TO THE TV AND I TURN AROUND IF IT GETS INTERESTING
— Doug “Is Afraid of Scary Nicknames” Benson (@DougBenson) September 21, 2021
8. The chill zone
Hey man, I can dig it.
just chillin here in the hole i’ve dug for myself pic.twitter.com/inS24cy0g7
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) September 20, 2021
7. A true monster
Now you’re gonna EXPERIENCE THE MAGIC of Moana and you’re gonna LIKE IT.
me forcing everyone to watch a movie i really like pic.twitter.com/gLa8JstYKT
— liz (@VID3OGIRL) August 14, 2020
6. Spooky scary skeletons
Send shivers down your spine!
Well it’s officially “see a plastic skeleton in a store and run 2 miles home so I can scream in the privacy of my home” season
— nick naney (@nicknaney) September 20, 2021
5. The system is down
But why DID you leave the keys upon the table?
yeah I’m into STEM
M of a Down
— djinn diesel. (@djinndiesel) September 19, 2021
4. Don’t it yourself
Yeah, you read that right.
Here’s what I’ve learned about DIY home repair – don’t.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) September 18, 2021
3. Express delivery
If something should happen to us I stand to lose a lot.
Packages kept getting stolen at my apartment so I've started shipping them to my gf's place and every time I put in an order it feels like I’m recommitting to our relationship for 3-5 business days
— gianmarco (@GianmarcoSoresi) September 18, 2021
2. Here piggy, piggy
What in the actual heck is happening right about here?
“You come here, on the day of my daughter’s wedding?” pic.twitter.com/g2FkE3d1Ki
— Steven Castillo (@STEEEZUSCHRIST) September 18, 2021
1. Drink up
If you’re gonna get a hangover now, you’d better clear the day for it.
Drinking when you're 18: eating's cheating!
Drinking when you're over 25: if I drink on an empty stomach I will genuinely not live to see another sunrise
— Ross Sayers (@Sayers33) September 18, 2021
Well, consider my day brightened.
Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?
Tell us in the comments.