I know we all try to be good folks and not judge each other too much, especially based on trivial things.
When you’re working the same job day in and day out and dealing with tons of customers and their nonsense, you can’t help but develop a few assumptions.
So what’s a bartender thinking when you saddle up and make your order? Let’s find out, thanks to Reddit.
1. Promotional Profiling
We had a bar nearby that would “guess your drink.” Basically the bartender would profile you and try to figure out what you would order.
He would write it on the beer napkin thing and turn it over after you ordered. If he got it wrong you got a tiny discount. It was good fun.
2. The Seven Seas
once in NYC I overheard a dude ordering a “Seven Seas”.
Turned out it’s “A splash of the first seven things the bartender sees” – yep, instantly judged as an alcoholic
3. The List
From my experience if you order a Bud Light/ Miller Light/ Budweiser with a shot of Bourbon or Whisky you probably work a manual labor intensive job.
Most older women want vodka with water/tonic/soda.
Younger woman tend to order vodka with cranberry or sweeter mixed drinks.
Younger men tend to order IPA’s or Craft Beers.
I can always tell who just turned 21 due to all the complex sweet shots with fancy names being ordered.
Old ladies that want to party usually start with Margaritas.
I bartend on the weekends at a shot and beer spot, so I don’t get a lot variety.
4. Double Brandy and Coke
Means you’re probably from South Africa
5. The Barfight
When a customer orders a fireball for himself, a Coke for his young friend, some bl**job shots for the two ladies with their boyfriends across the bar, and two cosmopolitans for their boyfriends….a d**n cool bar-fight is about to happen.
6. Expensive Cocktails
They want an expensive cocktail and when you tell the price they start arguing with you that it is way to expensive and that they can make it at home for half the price……
7. The Gin Snobs
My city has a very fancy (and tbf very good) gin bar in it which stocks around 500 gins and has become a huge destination for hipster tourists and gin-obsessed mums.
Used to be people coming to my bar would ask for a gin and tonic. Now people coming to my bar ask what gins we have and make me explain every ingredient and the philosophy behind every d**n one before deciding.
So the stereotype in my city is you’re either asking about gin, which means you’re a tourist/instagram nerd or you’re complaining about everyone in front of you asking about gin in which case you’re a local.
Few weeks back a dude was second in line for ten full minutes because the lady in front of him wanted the history of East London Batch 2 and he spent the whole time pulling faces at me over her shoulder. Moment he gets to the bar only thing he says is ‘Gin Bar has a lot to f**king answer for. Gimme a d**n beer.’
Ordered by students which just want to get f**ked up asap.
– [deleted user]
Any variety of boilermaker…guaranteed the customer is an alcoholic.
I had a guy who would regularly order 22 oz bottles of some limited run micro-brew. He preferred the beer poured over ice with a shot of vodka added. He also didn’t own a vehicle, unless you count a bicycle as a vehicle. Here’s to you Voodoo Child.
10. The Stealthy Non-Drinker
I usually go up to the bartender and order “a coke but make it look like an alcoholic drink”.
I don’t drink! Bartenders usually understand my plight. Thank you for letting me fit in!
I used to work in a bar with an excellent real ale selection, so of course we sold more Carling than anything else -_-
Always pillocks who would shout at the football while tearing up the card drinks mats that I had to clean at the end of the night.
Some would complain that we didn’t sell enough ‘real beer’ too. F**k them.
Usually someone who wants to get drunk for cheap and is going to complain that the drink is not strong enough.
Life Pro Tip for bartenders, before serving, fill the straw with well tequila.
You will never get another complaint about a weak LIT.
13. Bond Martinis
Martini ‘shaken, not stirred’= Idiot who knows nothing about booze and definitely has no idea what they’re ordering, and will most likely not like it.
That said, I’m pretty tolerant of most drink orders, people are allowed to like what they like, even if I don’t share the same taste.
14. Malibu and Sprite
When I first started drinking I never knew what to order so my sister told me to get her college friend’s favorite drink, which was Malibu and Sprite. As a lifelong sugar addict I loved it.
One night I ordered it at a bar and the bartender chuckled to himself a bit so I asked him why, he said he just learned the name of that drink but didn’t want to offend me. I said to let me have it; it’s called a High Maintenance White B**ch.
15. Bourbon Old Fashioned
A bartender once told me this means I’m an old woman from the South.
Cheers to you, whatever your drink of choice.
What’s your go to order and why?
Tell us in the comments.