Ask anyone what they think of Twitter and I promise they’ll definitely tell you that it’s a place for deep reflection and nuanced truth.
It’s a place where we go to learn about ourselves in ways that are patient, unflinching, and sometimes kind of hard to face.
Here are fifteen truths we can glean from tweets. May we all be better for them.
15. Dogs don’t know how hot we are
It’s uncomfortable, but it’s true.
i said “the worst thing about having a dog is he doesn’t know how much hotter i am than other dog owners” and my boyfriend said “please don’t say things like that”
— dana bad (@baddanadanabad) August 4, 2021
14. Technology is actively trying to ruin us
It will make the uprising all the easier.
My photo app loves to be like “take a look back in time” and then show me a picture from the worst day of my life
— Rachel Sennott (@Rachel_Sennott) August 2, 2021
13. Endorphins are a scam
Anybody would be happy to stop being in pain.
“Endorphins” after working out is a scam, one is simply happy that they are no longer working out
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) August 5, 2021
12. Nuance is helpful
We’re totally gonna get it right this time.
we may have whiffed it pretty hard on the pandemic when it was very clear what to do, but now that there are a bunch of nuances and caveats I think we’re gonna crush it
— Sarah Lazarus (@sarahclazarus) July 31, 2021
11. There is no pizza at the back of that book
And everything else you’ve ever been promised is also a lie.
My entire personality comes from the fact that, at a very young age, a person of authority told me that the more books I read, the more free pizza I’d get.
— Jhanteigh Kupihea (@jhanteigh) August 3, 2021
10. You are not a bird
You’re just a human. A very tired human.
“are you an early bird or a night owl?” idk man i am only good for 4 hours in the middle of the day, like, 11-3. i’m in a fugue state as i type this
— madrigal (@whatmaddness) August 3, 2021
9. Tampons are our most steadfast companions
Search your heart, you know it to be the case.
hello tampon at the bottom of my purse . I love doing this crazy life with u
— steph mccann (@steph_mcca) August 3, 2021
8. Working out helps
I feel like I need to douse myself with holy water after that.
this is really painful to admit but working out, eating healthier, and taking vitamins has vastly improved my health
— sarah schauer 🦂 (@sarahschauer) August 4, 2021
7. The universe is mocking us
When it comes to plane travel, doubly so.
every time i fly i ask the universe to seat me next to someone fine and every single time the universe be like… no ♥️ enjoy this white grandpa
— king crissle (@crissles) August 2, 2021
6. Therapist energy is getting weird
We gotta stop being like this.
Are y’all ready to talk about how “my therapist said” has the same energy as “my cousin at the pentagon said” ?
— J🌶 (@Jani__Gee) August 2, 2021
5. We already know pain
And risk beyond your wildest dreams.
Why aren’t I afraid of the vaccine? Because I got my ears pierced at Claire’s, and that’s a far bigger risk
— Caitlin Arcand (@CaitlinArcand) August 4, 2021
4. The housing shortage is real
Oh no please don’t leave stop wait also what’s the square footage?
Can I ask you a couple questions about your apartment? pic.twitter.com/deoBopiMNl
— Aubrey Hirsch (@aubreyhirsch) August 5, 2021
3. Your uncle doesn’t know s**t about biology
He’s just been conditioned to be scared of new stuff.
People who can’t even explain photosynthesis trying to tell to me how this vaccine was made “differently than others” pic.twitter.com/xZAVct4j9V
— KB (@KaraRBrown) August 3, 2021
2. There’s only one reason to clean
And most of us haven’t had it in a while.
having friends over isn’t just about having a good time. It’s about being forced to finally clean your apartment
— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) August 7, 2021
1. Dogs are always in wait
Even when invisible, they are there.
The dining table at our rental house is glass. This is what I see for the entire meal. pic.twitter.com/JmTyf6oymY
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) August 5, 2021
Deep truths indeed. May they grant us wisdom.
What’s the deepest truth you’ve learned lately?
Tell us in the comments.