I’ve had a few interesting first dates in my life but definitely none as wild as the ones that we’re about to read about here.

These make my first dates – and in fact all of my dating life taken as a whole – feel pretty tame and like perhaps I need to get out there and get a little more wild. Or maybe I don’t want to, because some of these sound pretty yikes.

Here are fifteen real first date stories submitted anonymously.

15. That’s permanent

What was the ink though?

Source: Whisper

14. Throw it up

Was this an illness situation or a “bottle flu” type situation?

Source: Whisper

13. Get right to it

Sounds like maybe you were both a little thirsty, huh?

Source: Whisper

12. A little drive

Well, that’s one way to do it.

Source: Whisper

11. The boob tube

I’m truly sorry about that title, I just couldn’t resist because I’m a child.

Source: Whisper

10. Keep Portland weird

Is this like, not illegal? Does Portland even HAVE laws?

Source: Whisper

9. Too far too fast

What are you, from medieval times or something?

Source: Whisper

8. Heading back

You just keep comin’ round here again.

Source: Whisper

7. Jump right in

Those memories will last you a lifetime.

Source: Whisper

6. The skinny

And how did it go? We must know more.

Source: Whisper

5. When ya know…

…ya know.

Source: Whisper

4. Double up

That seems like the least you could do for that poor guy.

Source: Whisper

3. What a trip

I literally cannot imagine being comfortable doing something like this.

Source: Whisper

2. Barf

There’s no recovering from that.

Source: Whisper

1. Best AND worst?

There’s so much more to this story.

Source: Whisper

Absolutely wild. I feel like I need a nap.

What’s your craziest first date story?

Tell us in the comments.