No, I’m not. I’m not right about dating because I’m very bad at it and my advice and input on the subject should never be heeded.
Which is probably why this person took to Reddit instead of coming to me.
How do you calm your nerves before a date with a girl you really like?
byu/wakanda101 inAskReddit
Let’s see if we can glean a little romantic wisdom from the internet, shall we?
1. Maybe work ou.
In all honesty, my pre-date routine (pre-covid, and when I had time) was run to the gym, do some bench, pull downs, curls, and lat raises. High weight, low reps. In and out in 15 minutes, shower, then date.
Gave me a pump in all the right places, but most importantly I noticed that it gave me really good posture the rest of the day and I didn’t slouch like I normally do.
– livious1
2. Remember there’s no losing here.
It’s ok for you not to be compatible, and why would you want to date someone you’re not compatible with.
That’s when you move on and find the right person. Same with jobs and interviews really.
If they don’t pick me, it’s because I wasn’t compatible with the job for some reason that only they know – and I don’t want to do a job I don’t fit in.
– pm_me_your_amphibian
3. It either is or it ain’t.
If a lady likes you, there’s practically nothing you can do to make her not like you. (in terms of being silly/embarrassing yourself/whatever)
If she doesn’t, there’s practically nothing you can do to make her like you.
So just be yourself.
– Omniwing
4. You’re already liked.
Hello I am a girl I say just remember that the girl is on a date with you for a reason.
She wouldn’t say yes to a date with a guy she knows has absolutely no chance with her.
Be confident. Also relax. Talk to her. Be polite. You’ll do great honey!!!
– gab678has
5. Remember she’s nervous too.
Remember that she may be nervous too and you’re both just people (: nerves can be endearing sometimes.
Coming off too aloof can make it seem like you don’t care. Think about having a good time!
– Skitzcordova
6. Stop thinking.
I know it’s difficult, but stop thinking about it.
Imagine you’re meeting some friends. I just had to talk my roommate down off the ledge after his first date in a few years.
Don’t view it as a date. You’re just meeting a new friend to hang out.
Don’t try to make everything perfect, and don’t expect that it will be perfect.
You probably won’t fall in love, or even have s** tonight.
Don’t let your mind go there. It will only serve to make you more nervous by putting too much pressure on yourself and your date.
If something goes sideways, handle it exactly how you would if you were with your oldest friend.
– OfficeChairHero
7. Plan ahead.
Make a plan for after the date.
Grocery shopping to prepare for tomorrow’s meals, or stopping by the auto store for something for the car.
No matter how the date goes, you’re back in your life doing the things you do.
Always have your plan for tomorrow.
– Dizzy_Ad8268
8. Dating is like cake.
Picture going to a bakery. You see a fabulous looking cake. The icing is perfect and it smells amazing. You get it home cut a huge piece and take a big bite. Rather than the luscious cake you were expecting and excited for you get a flavorless, gritty mess with greasy icing that coats the top of your mouth and you can’t rub it off.
Attraction is like that. You are lured in by the look of the cake. Dating is cautiously dipping the tiniest point of the fork in that cake before you decide if it’s worth having. Unless you like what is under the surface it’s not for you. Dating is nothing to stress over, you are just gathering information.
– NZT-48Rules
9. Simple rules.
Stretching and deep breathing can calm nerves. Also make sure you feel good about yourself. Good hygiene, shower before, floss (I can always tell when someone doesn’t floss) and brush teeth, mouthwash. If you use cologne, go very light with it. Know that you deserve a nice girl, be proud and confident of who you are.
If you enjoyed the date text her an hour or so after you get home letting her know you had a nice time. If you hadn’t already set up a 2nd date, wait a couple days to let the first one sink in then ask.
– Marisleysis33
10. Don’t get in your own way.
Gonna be honest with you, this only happened to me with the first girl I’d ever asked out since she was the one. I asked her out in my mid-20s and she agreed.
She was really excited, but I simply couldn’t get my nerves in check. I was not being myself, I was overthinking everything, I just kept asking questions, I wasn’t able to form an emotional connection whatsoever because I didn’t know how, etc.
The first date didn’t go well, but I could tell she was so disappointed that she wanted to give me a second shot, so we went on a second date and I completely fell apart. I was a mess of nerves. She was visibly super upset which only made it worse for me. She dumped me after.
I can honestly say that that rejection and failure changed my life for the better. It gave me a drive and motivation to never get caught up like that again.
I’ve dated hundreds of girls since and every time, I’m a hero. Of course, there are plenty you just won’t click with and that’s fine. So, even if you fail and let the nerves get to you, I can guarantee that you will look back on this moment and be thankful for the learning experience that it served to be.
– NathanGorgeous
11. Be genuine.
Just remember it’s supposed to be fun!
Be yourself and let your personality flow, if you guys connect, that’s great, and it will be with the real you.
If you don’t, sure it will sting, but at-least you’ll have more experience and know what you’re looking for!
– LukeMolnar
12. Don’t put too much pressure on it.
A little bit of nervousness is normal, and a lot of people find it endearing. But you don’t want it to get in the way of having a good time with the other person.
You feel excessively nervous when you put too much importance on a date or a person. Think of it more like just going out and seeing if you guys might be a good fit together. You might be, or you might not. That’s okay.
There’s a lot of women out there, so you have lots of chances to find the right person for you. When you accept that and take that attitude in dating, you’ll find that first dates become a lot easier and more natural. You can much more easily be yourself when you don’t have so much riding on the date’s outcome.
– watsreddit
13. Don’t let the nerves snowball.
Be it a date or a job interview, it helps me a lot to remind myself that I’m “auditioning” the other person too. Sometimes we get so caught up in worrying about what someone else thinks of us that we don’t even bother figuring out what we think of them. That reminder helps to level the playing field.
That and you’ve got to allow yourself to seem nervous. It’s very easy to get caught in that loop where you feel nervous, worry that it’s obvious you’re nervous, get more nervous. You can really work yourself up that way. Being nervous for a date says “I really like you and I hope this goes well”…like oh wouldn’t it be so shocking and horrible to find out the person that asked you on a date likes you.
She’s said yes to a date and shown up for it, she likes you too, she’s probably nervous herself and she’s not gonna be put off by your nervousness-most likely she’ll find it sweet & kinda flattering. The nerves will pass a lot quicker if you don’t resist them.
Sometimes I just like to admit to people right off the bat that I’m nervous, maybe make a little joke about it or something. That really dissipates the tension it’s like “you were gonna find me out eventually, so I’m beating you to the chase” but also it’s a pretty b**lsy move so once you’ve done that you get a rush of confidence and whatever you were nervous about seems a lot easier because you just did something a lot harder than carrying on a conversation with someone or talking about your slides or whatever.
– verytinytim
14. Shower off.
Take a nice shower. Think about all the positive things in my life and get ready to sell it.
I’m married 13 years. Yes, I still get nervous before a good date. My wife is amazing!
– ramborocks
15. Pay attention.
Hey dude don’t be nervous as she is nervous too.
The more comfortable and confident you feel in yourself the less awkward it’ll be during the date.
Pay attention and have a convo up and ready to keep the mood and the light going. She said yes to you so that’s something ?.
– ipFigure
Seems pretty simple and sensible to me!
What’s your best piece of dating advice?
Tell us in the comments.