It’s easy to get jaded in the dating scene.
But that doesn’t mean we need to be so grim all the time!
Here are some secrets to success via Reddit.
1. Stop that train!
Early in our dating days, I was on a train with my now-husband.
The inspector was checking our tickets while we were about to pull away from the station when my husband spotted a woman come running down the platform. He pointed this out to the inspector, who stuck his arm out the window and held the train until she got on.
My husband was so casual about it, didn’t think anything of it really, and it was a small action, but one that likely made her day better.
I thought it said a lot about his character, that he’d help out a stranger who didn’t even know it.
I was right, he is still that kind of guy!
2. A helping hand
They genuinely like being able to do things to help you out and vice versa
3. Stay with me
About 4 months into my relationship I got injured. There was a chance that I wouldn’t be able to walk again.
My then girlfriend now wife said “don’t worry it’s going to be okay, we can figure this out either way.” I’m okay now, but just knowing she was going to stay with me no matter what was huge.
We’ve been together 8 years now. We have our challenges but at the end of the day we both know we’re there for each other.
4. Crisis mode
If they respond well when you are dealing with a crisis situation, or when you are seriously ill, or when your family member is seriously ill, they may be a keeper.
In other words, how do they act/interact with you during times of stress?
Does their presence/behavior help, do they make it worse, or do they make themselves scarce?
5. The dull moments
You genuinely enjoy one another’s company during dull moments.
Life’s full of them and you are going to want a partner who you can enjoy them with.
6. Saying I’m sorry
The ability to apologize.
If your partner never sees their faults, it’ll never work.
7. It’s funny
Being able to make each other laugh.
Understanding the other person’s sense of humor is critical in long relationships, and besides, do you really want to get serious with someone who can’t hardly make you laugh or smile?
8. Really listen
When, during an argument, both parties take time to listen and respond thoughtfully to their partner and show genuine concern for the distress in their partner, even if it is small.
9. What a trip
You go on a road trip together and still like each other at the end of it.
10. Comfy quiet
If you can enjoy each other’s companies without needing a distraction you’re usually golden.
11. Finding time
If the person is genuinely a busy person but will always find time to see you and spend time with you.
12. It’s about respect
If you set a boundary and they respect it.
If you say that you are more comfortable meeting them at the date location after they offer you a ride they shouldn’t insist on picking you up.
13. A gentle touch
They don’t push their preferences on you and pressure you to maintain them
14. Sit in silence
Being able to sit in silence without it being weird or awkward. I.e one person reading a book or knitting or something, other person on the computer or phone or something, etc.
If you can be in each others space while doing your own things and not be bothered by what the other is doing or that their attention isn’t on you, and vice versa, I think that’s a sign that you can be together but independent. This isn’t limited to romantic relationships either.
15. The big date
On my first date with my future spouse, we had planned to spend some time together, then go get a bite and be done by evening.
When the date was supposed to end, i invited her for a walking tour of my campus.
When that was supposed to end, she invited me on a tour of hers.
When that was supposed to end, she asked if I’d ever walked a pretty nearby neighbourhood, and we walked there.
It was now about 11pm, i offered to walk her home. I went to walk home, she invited me in for tea.
We sat in her living room, sometimes in long stretches of blissfully relaxing silence just smiling, and i wasn’t on my way home until 2 am, 8 hours after the date was meant to have ended.
May we all be so lucky someday. 🙂
What would you add to this list of green flags?
Tell us in the comments.