Today we’ve got some tweets that are gonna bring a smile to your noggin.
Now, we’re not sure what that means, nor if it’s ever been said before, but we’re so confident that it’s going to happen that if it doesn’t, we’ll give your money back.
Which would be a heck of a feat considering you didn’t pay to look at this and also I don’t know how to prove such a thing, but the point is we stand by what we do.
Enjoy the tweets and smile big.
15. The fair comparison
*Me sitting with a beer resting on my gut*
“I could totally do that.”
I am yet again asking the olympics to simply let a regular non athlete person do the event first so I can understand how good these people are
— kelsey mckinney (@mckinneykelsey) June 19, 2021
14. The pile
It’s like a comfort animal, you wouldn’t understand.
No I actually sleep better with this pile of unfolded laundry next to me
— Emma Ketchum (@emmaketchup7) June 24, 2021
13. Raggedy Ann
That is the look of a cat who has been betrayed.
i left my humidifier on all day and now my cat looks raggedy asf pic.twitter.com/SPysVRDrhj
— queen quen (@quenblackwell) June 21, 2021
12. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide-from-everybody
Inside of me there are two wolves. One of them has severe social anxiety.
cancelling plans like “so sorry but it was actually a different, less depressed version of me that made those plans w you last week and the me that i am today doesn’t want to go.”
— Dana Donnelly (@danadonnelly) June 21, 2021
11. Time to emote
This is a fascinating little Rorschach test, huh?
these two ?? are disgusting. what are they smiling about? misogyny?
— amelia elizalde (@ameliaelizalde) June 22, 2021
10. Retail therapy
See I tried that but it turns out that losing $400 is something upsetting so it’s kind of an endless cycle.
normalize me spending $400 whenever something upsetting happens
— ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ Bangs (@yuckybangs) June 23, 2021
9. A century ago
Son, you and I were born in different MILLENIA.
my 7 yr old nephew: were you born in the 1900s?
me: oh… yes I guess so!
my nephew: [jaw dropping] oh my GOD
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) June 19, 2021
8. The love languages
Anything to see that smile. That dang little smile.
my love language is DMing coworkers a little joke when we're on the same zoom and seeing the slight upturn in their expression when they read it
— jenny (@jenny_wen) June 21, 2021
7. Feeling secure
If you were to be any four-digit pin number, what would you be?
Ok now that things are opening up in some places I guess everyone’s going on dates?? Some questions you can ask people if you’re feeling unsocialized:
What’s your mother’s maiden name?
What street did you grow up on?
Name of your first pet?
Where did you go to elementary school?
— Sarah Hagi (@KindaHagi) June 20, 2021
6. A fantasy world
That was a little bit shoot-for-the-stars, wasn’t it?
Romcoms gave me unrealistic expectations that I would be in a relationship
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) June 20, 2021
5. Road work ahead?
The vine will survive.
the bird flu? uh yea I sure hope it did
— cal? (@cal_gif) June 20, 2021
4. Out of my league
It’s called lettin’ someone down easy.
Men will be like “you’re out of my league and I don’t deserve you & this is why I will not even attempt to do the bare minimum in our relationship”
— michaela okland (@MichaelaOkla) June 21, 2021
3. Schrodinger’s comedian
Oh look, it’s every edgelord on the internet.
Hey! If I’ve ever said anything weird I was just kidding
— Natalie (@jbfan911) June 22, 2021
2. Count on me
I can save you a lot of time there, card shark.
You learned to count cards? Coulda just asked me, it’s 52
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) June 22, 2021
Can you hold it for just another minute?
this table looks like it needs to pee pic.twitter.com/bj387vKFUK
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) June 22, 2021
Who’s the funniest person to follow on Twitter?
Tell us in the comments.