Do you need a little healing? From just, yanno, whatever? All the stuff? A bit of the everything? Well, no worries. Because Twitter is here.
Now mind you, Twitter isn’t actually going to help. But it IS going to distract you for long enough that you forget what it was you needed help with to begin with. And that’s kind of the same thing. Anyway, it’s free, so, what is there to complain about?
15. Grape soda
Please tell him I love him and he is well worth the sugar and calories.
https://twitter.com/coraraejepsen/status/1380882091076902912
14. Drop ’em
It’s really the key to success.
Accidentally dropping your keys trying to open the door after a really bad daypic.twitter.com/IMVKeIpNve
— Dewayne Perkins (@DewaynePerkins) April 12, 2021
13. No longer toxic
Good for you girl, go get ’em.
The vaccine when it entered Britney Spears arm pic.twitter.com/Z9EBiDg9C1
— 💫 (@heyjaeee) April 9, 2021
12. Such a vibe
She looks like she knew she’d be in a tweet way before tweets were anything.
https://twitter.com/KekePalmer/status/1379997077904629761
11. Be specific
I really need to know exactly where this thing is.
https://twitter.com/gl0hen/status/1380623741324038152
10. Not ok
It’s important to listen to all of the advice from our healthcare professionals.
https://twitter.com/uncle_poppers/status/1379877874367410180
9. You gotta be kidding
I mean, to be fair, it’s a SNAKE.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!"
–my 2yo, clear as a bell, in the middle of PetSmart, upon seeing a snake in real life for the first time
— Austin J. Clements (@ClementsAustinJ) April 11, 2021
8. No
No.
meghan trainor was right. no
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) April 11, 2021
7. Talk to the group
Now let’s just go around the circle and scream for a while.
https://twitter.com/twulpz/status/1379473973197611008
6. Shine on
Come and play with us…for two seconds and then we will bite you.
is this the shining pic.twitter.com/gbLqKV2YNo
— free palestine (@milkglutton_) April 10, 2021
5. Microdosing
“Hey!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
microdosing a relationship by getting into arguments with my male friends
— i can be your long lost pal (@PallaviGunalan) April 10, 2021
4. Light of my life
How else are you gonna sleep?
[1890s guy] I gotta stop looking at my candle before bed
— Caleb Pitts (@calebpitts1997) April 9, 2021
3. What a bop
“I wanna hug the ones I envy, I envy….”
Kidz Bop trying to figure out how to do Call Me By Your Name pic.twitter.com/vhDWQnjRFU
— former twt honey (@characterbreak) April 11, 2021
2. Churn, churn, churn
It must have been horribly boring.
can’t believe that pioneer women used to churn butter for hours without even listening to a podcast about bigfoot
— Lillian Stone (@originalspinstr) April 11, 2021
1. Make it work
I’m what you call a real fixer upper.
My dating profile: pic.twitter.com/Zm7iWsXTXN
— Christian Becker (@TheAmazingBeck) April 10, 2021
There now, don’t we all feel better?
Who’s your favorite person to follow on Twitter?
Tell us in the comments.