The entire internet is basically just an insanely complicated network of wires and servers allowing people to ping responses back and forth to each other at the speed of light.
And every once in a while, you can fish out a few of those responses and hang them on the wall like trophies because they’re amazing.
29. Swing and a miss
What a weird way to try to hit things off.
28. Shout it out loud
This is technically correct, the best kind of correct.
27. Don’t be a sheep
I’m sure a virus will find you very intimidating and just stay away.
26. Planting evidence
This is, famously, kind of a big deal for God.
11. Boy oh boy
What’s in a name anyway?
25. Wearing me out
It’s a bold move advertising to everyone around you that you don’t take plagues seriously.
24. Meat cute
The restaurant is literally named after the dish they sell, Karen.
23. The who and the Y
Believe it or not, genetics are slightly more complicated than that grid you looked at once in high school.
22. Absolutely sunk
Gotta hand it to this one.
This is why I laugh every time someone talks about America being “respected again.”
20. Ah yes, the two genders
I’ll bet you all the money I have that the next response included the word “trigger.”
19. Turn, turn, turn
Just think of all the savings!
18. Go for the gold
More than I’ve ever done, that’s for sure.
17. Spot the faker
It’s not generally hard.
16. Virtue signalling
Look man, I don’t know why this is news either, but let’s just be happy for each other.
15. Shoot your shot
Imagine telling someone not to take their medicine.
this girl sitting next to me gave herself an insulin shot in class yesterday & the girl next to her said “can you like not do that right now” she replied with “um no Debra I’d like to live”
— daichi (@N0RES) February 14, 2018
14. tHe eLiTe
“Elitist” is a term used by one camp of rich people to attack another camp of rich people and hope you won’t notice.
We'd say receiving a vaccine before most frontline workers is pretty elite, @marcorubio. And so is attacking dedicated public health workers. pic.twitter.com/jplHNA7npr
— March For Science (@MarchForScience) December 27, 2020
13. The 100
Well now I feel like I should maybe check this show out.
I wrote the book the show is based on. It’s about what happens when rich people leave the poor behind to die. So, more like America under Trump. https://t.co/MSS7Bir9co
— Kass Morgan (@kassmorganbooks) December 27, 2020
12. Mask up
Insane how everybody became an expert in the field of face cloth overnight out of nowhere.
Hi — Emergency Doctor here: I have worn two masks for 8+ hrs/day at my job for the last 6 months and I guarantee there’s still more oxygen getting to my brain than there is yours.
— Rana Kabeer, MD, MPH ?? (@RanaSays) October 14, 2020
11. Very special research
The tweet to which this was a reply has been deleted now but you can imagine what it said.
I’m a reporter with KLWG in Boise.
I’m doing a story on men that have never pleasured a woman sexually.
May I use your tweets?
— Kaj-Erik Eriksen®️ (@KajEriksen) July 15, 2018
10. Opening up
You know what she meant, but this is the correct response regardless.
How do you think we get inside? ?? https://t.co/SLbmtc1J9x
— Sibiya Nge??™ (@Bonganibling) December 6, 2020
9. Don’t stop me now
I say this as a white people, but wtf white people.
Common sense https://t.co/LbqiGHvPHC
— Ariam (@iambrattyb) September 20, 2020
8. Solar power
You know how winter doesn’t mean that photons go away?
I’m genuinely asking, Jim. DID you know that?
Do Solar Panels work in the cold? YES!
Solar Panels work by absorbing LIGHT from the sun, not heat.
In fact, the chemical reactions that occur w/i the solar panels are more efficient at cooler temperatures❄️
Also, white snow can act like a mirror to reflect MORE light onto them pic.twitter.com/HTqQmk8NeW
— Emily Calandrelli (@TheSpaceGal) January 31, 2019
7. All hail
The number of takes like this that I’ve seen are just stunning.
Yes, dictators loved Trump and hate Biden. This is not the flex you think it is. https://t.co/GOruhl52OH
— No Lie with Brian Tyler Cohen (@NoLieWithBTC) March 19, 2021
6. Loud and clear
“Seriously, get the shot, don’t be dumb.” – God, probably
… I hope those aren't prescription glasses.
— Fake Names, All Gimmicks (@OrgaP) February 2, 2021
Just say what’s in your heart and stop dancing around it.
Idk but they tried peacefully kneeling and yall had a problem with that too. https://t.co/Cbyek0Z8Cd
— Ayesha ? (@ayeemalik99) May 28, 2020
4. Show some respect
There’s just no need for rudeness.
My downstairs neighbour has a daughter who lets her boyfriend sneak in through the window everyday. I’m no narc so I haven’t told her dad. Well, she just told me my skinny jeans are out. I’ll be asking her dad tomorrow why his son keeps forgetting his key. Respect your elders
— spooky cold fox ? (@roastmalone_) February 11, 2021
3. To put it charitably
This happened and yet somehow we never talk about it.
when was the last time Biden had to shut down his charity and be forbidden from operating another one and also take a class in "how not to steal" because he was caught diverting money raised in the name of children with cancer. asking for a friend
— Jeff Tiedrich (@itsJeffTiedrich) September 28, 2020
2. Visions of the future
Investing in an atmosphere of pure resentment is a surefire plan.
I haven't spoken to my mother in ten years.
Welcome to your future.
— Sexy Spock (so, just Spock) (@StarStuffSister) November 7, 2019
1. “Room temperature IQ”
Hey, it’s true.
You’re not even allowed unpasteurised cheese is the USA, don’t tell me you rights. The only rights you have above and beyond the UK is the right for person with a room temperature IQ to buy a gun.
— James Coogan (@jamescoogan) December 3, 2020
Fire through and through.
What’s the best response you’ve heard to something recently?
Tell us in the comments.