I actually think that a motto of “I’ll try anything once” is a fairly healthy one to have, with the exception of things like drugs and other stuff that could literally kill you on that “once.”
That said, there are definitely things in all of our lives that we did once, but will never, ever do again.
For me? Cliff jumping.
Been there, proved I could, now I’ll just watch you, thanks.
These 29 people have a few things they, too, won’t be doing a second time, so check it out and see if there’s anything here that’s on your bucket list.
29. No flavor, just pain.
The Four Horseman burger from Chunkys in San Antonio, TX. It was featured in Man vs Food. The worst decision I’ve ever made.
It was so hot that the first bite gave me instant hiccups and tears started streaming. I couldn’t breathe. I took another bite because I’m a glutton for punishment. I quit and they gave me lukewarm milk.
I paid $25 for a burger I took two bites from. The rest of my day was spent in the fetal position sweating profusely. A few hours later Just when I thought it was over I threw up and it brought the taste and pain back.
28. “Got stuck.” *wink*
Well as a young child my penis got stuck in a toy train set.
I like to thing that as an adult, that’s something I won’t repeat.
27. You know you’re going to do it again.
Trying to reason with someone who disagrees with you on the internet.
26. Why on earth…
Shaving my pubes with an old-school straight razor.
Dry.
25. Do not attempt this at home. Or anywhere.
First semester of college my friends and I joked about the idea of taking a stimulant, opiate, and hallucinogen at the same time and named it the “Triforce of Overdose”.
Of course this ended up with me actually doing it and having the worst trip ever. Didn’t feel the same for a week after.
24. The “final burn.”
I ate a ghost chili pepper once, for $20. The pain was so intense I wanted to knock myself unconscious.
That night I threw up in the shower, where it burned all over again. The next day was the final burn: the worst diarrhea I’ve ever had.
All of this for $20. Never again.
23. That paints quite the image.
Shaving my chest. I’m overweight, so I looked like a big baby. The worst part was when the hairs started growing back, they would hook into my T shirt. It felt like my shirt was velcro-ed onto my chest and every move I made felt like the velcro was being pulled off. Awful.
22. Let someone else torture you.
Oh God, home Brazilian waxing. That is NOT something you do yourself. I was literally black and blue for a week.
21. Why would anyone do this though?
My god, just remembered.
23 years ago I was 17. Really into getting high and trolling the library for ways to do that (we didn’t have the internet).
Me and a buddy ate 2 packets of nutmeg each. The taste I would never go through again, it was disgusting.
Nothing happened for about 4 hours, then it kicked in and stayed for a whole day. It really is just feeling like a zombie but not caring. Then 3 days of suicidal lethargy. That f**ked us up.
20. Cheap any kind of booze, I suspect.
Cheap brandy.
I’ve had no shortage of bad bottom shelf experiences, and I don’t kid myself that I won’t have plenty more on my budget, but I’ve never experienced anything quite as foul as that $1.50 50 mL bottle of Voldemort’s vomit before. Its haunting, lingering taste remained with me for days through countless teeth brushings and mouth rinses.
If you can’t afford quality brandy, don’t leave with brandy. Ever.
19. Just back away slowly.
Erguotou (Chinese sorghum spirit.)
When booze is 56% alcohol and costs 50 cents a bottle, one should move the f**k away.
18. Gooey and food in the same sentence is a nope.
I ate deep fried tarantula once. Was just awful.
Yes it was in Cambodia. Tried it at a roadside bus stop, the woman’s method of advertising was having a large live tarantula alongside the cooked ones, and I just spur of the moment thought why not (there is a photo of the spider on my arm somewhere which I can try to dig out).
The legs were crunchy and a not entirely pleasant but not too unpleasant either.
The body itself was the worst part crunchy on the outside and just a weird gooey texture on the inside and the tastes were just weird as well.
17. Just don’t breathe.
I tried the cinnamon challenge.
Don’t try the cinnamon challenge.
16. Not even once.
Meth. I just don’t get the high. In college I did a lot of cocaine and once at a party with townies (of course) they busted out these tiny little lines and asked if I wanted a bump.
I thought the host was just being conservative until the second after I took it and got the drip. f**king nasty. Fast forward 48 hours and I’m still awake with no end in sight and feel like an electric eel stuck in a lawnmower engine.
That s*^t was nasty, plain and simple.
15. This is just moronic.
When I was in high school, 2003-2007, the debate regarding “enhanced interrogation” and torture was at its peak. the US was torturing “non-enemy combatants” at Guantanamo bay every single day.
I wanted to write a paper on the atrocities, but I felt like I couldn’t really speak to the horrors of waterboarding and other torture methods unless I’d experienced them.
So I waterboarded myself. Being a bit of a bitch, I wasn’t very successful. So I had a friend help me.
I can honestly say I will never volunteer to be waterboarded again.
14. Too many people.
Went out side a few days ago. It was very cold and everyone was a jerk. Never again.
13. Tomato Tomato.
Wiping my ass with hand wipes. I thought they were just like baby wipes, so I took them with me to poo. Nope. 65% alcohol by volume per wipe. Basically gave myself an alcohol enema. At work.
Edit: I get it, it wasn’t actually an enema. I did get kinda buzzed from it though, and I’m not very good with descriptions.
12. A disgrace to humanity. Lol.
McDonald’s Poutine as a Canadian this a disgrace to humanity.
I’m from Saskatchewan and although it probably never compares to what is in Quebec there are some delicious poutines here. Poutine is a magical combination of fries, gravy, cheese curds (so help me god if it’s shredded cheese). It’s like life there are soft moment, crunchy moments, and above all when you are drunk at 2 am it tastes amazing.
But McDonalds is a bastardization of a beautiful thing, like the stupid kid Johnny drew a stick figure and said it compared to the Mona Lisa at the Luv. Absolute garbage, f**k you McDonalds, f**k YOU! (Sorry, eh)
11. Seriously, they made me barf.
Cigarettes.
10. So, it was fun?
Bungee jumping. I am terrified of heights, hated every second of it, and vomited right after.
I am glad I took the chance and did it once, but will NEVER do it again.
9. There are more things to worry about than pregnancy, though?
I’ve came inside a girl in a one night stand.
She said she was sterile and was right, but the anxiety of waiting for her time of the month was hell.
8. Only nearly?
Plagiarism. It nearly got me kicked out of my class.
7. Fool me twice…
Ziplining.
I did it, and the harness ripped right up my crotch. It was like being Falcon Punched in the testicles. I was told to try it again later on, comforted by people telling me “Oh, It was just a bad experience”. Nope. Full force of gravity to the ball$ AGAIN.
Maybe I just have a sensitive scrotum, but I am sure as hell not going to be fooled thrice into getting my nuts brutalized by a fundamental force of the universe.
EDIT: I got gold for talking about what could have been the complete loss of my reproductive abilities. Thanks, Reddit.
6. Sometimes moving on is best.
Try to repair a broken or dead relationship (be it friendship or romantic). Sometimes, it’s best to just move on instead of trying to relive the past.
5. That sounds horrifying.
Smoking salvia was by far the worst drug experience of my life. I took one huge hit from a bong, sat down on a couch, and then 10 seconds later my entire world started to vibrate until it shattered. I blacked out.
When I came to it felt like I was being torn away from a giant cylinder. My friends were all laughing but I was terrified and extremely disoriented. Like I wasn’t sure if I came back as the right person. I started doing multiplication and simple math in my head to make sure my brain still worked. Then I checked my Facebook to make sure I still was who I thought I was. Horrible experience.
TL;DR: Never smoke salvia. Ever.
4. Just say no.
Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears
3. Risking your life is not a game.
coffee card games where you drink coffee if you lose a round.
I drank six redbulls and 20 small cups of coffee in a row and then I felt bad…was like a 48 hour hangover with mild hallucinations. I couldn’t eat or drink anything and I was an absolute wreck.
Haven’t touched coffee in six months after that.
2. Why would anyone do it again?
Sky diving. Did it, all set. Not that it wasn’t fun or that I was horribly terrified. To be honest I don’t think my brain even realized what was going on as I sat on the edge of teh airplane doorway.
Just that it isn’t something I feel would be worth doing again.
1. Not even once. Seconded.
“Natural” child birth. I read all the literature on it, and thought I was prepared, so when I went in to have my daughter I was adamant that I wanted NO drugs, NO epidural, because I am a woman, hear me roar. Then I had my first real contraction and was like NOPE, nope nope nope.
Considering I was in labor for 43 hours, I think I made the right call.
Natural childbirth-not even once.
It’s hard to argue with most of these choices, don’t you think?
Best to just not do those again!
What’s something you’ve done once but won’t do again? Drop your own cautionary tale into the comments!