The last time I was driving with my dad in the car, he was telling me how to get somewhere and I said “Ok, but the GPS says this is faster so I’m gonna go this way.”

He insisted that it was not, in fact, faster, and these things didn’t know what they were talking about.

I thought about delving into the finer points of which was more likely to be correct: a human relying on memory who hadn’t been to this area in years, or a massively complex artificial intelligence with access to near-perfect records of maps with intricate detail and real-time traffic data. Why, after all, would you trust your own brain over that?

Then I remembered – oh, he’s probably used to Apple Maps. Which Twitter hates, apparently.

13. This is not happening right now

When you get your getaway driver on Wish.

12. Pick a lane

I think your phone might be trying to kill you, bro.

11. Star man

He’s up there so we don’t have to be.


I shall follow thee to the depths and back.

9. Keep on truckin’

The look on his face says “I’m still not gettin’ an Android like some kinda poor.”

8. Must go faster

Man, you’re really branching out right now.

7. The wrong turn

This is going to be a violation of our friendship.

6. You turn

“F**k the police, let’s get outta here.”

5. Ramping up

Um, did I just watch someone die?

4. Ol’ reliable

(Hint: you can install Google Maps or Waze on your iPhone. And since Google owns Waze…they’re really the same thing.)

3. Deep in the heart of Texas

The stars at night, are big and bright…

2. Drawing inspiration

Ugh come on just let me do your job for you.

1. The search is on

This was by far the most disorienting halftime show ever.

Sorry, Apple. Better luck next time.

What’s your navigation method of choice?

Tell us in the comments.