I just spent entirely too long trying to find an old favorite tweet of mine and somehow I can’t track it down anywhere, so with apologies to whomever I’m about to paraphrase, it went something like this:
“I can’t believe that no one on the left or the right ever gets it and that I’m the only one who knows exactly what’s correct in every single situation.”
It’s a skewering of a certain kind of “online pundit,” but also a tongue-in-cheek reference to the very silly and relatable feeling that, if only everyone were like me, things would be fine.
But WOULD they though?
Let’s think through this little experiment with the people of Reddit. What would the world be like if it were full of YOU?
1. Super casual?
The universal greeting would be “hey man”
Even the presidential address.
Even the Pope being elected.
Even what a baby says when it’s first born.
2. Distracted and dreamy?
There would be lots of unfolded clothes and many unfinished projects, but there would also be beautiful flowers and happy birds everywhere.
3. Bitterly insecure?
Nobody would be able to work together, not because I am a self centered person but because nobody would share their ideas for fear of being told that they are stupid.
Another thing might be that all shows would be on one streaming service because spending money on 10 different streaming services would be the one problem everyone would express that they hated
4. No more YouTube?
We wouldn’t have any YouTube videos to watch because I’m an introvert and don’t want to be in front of the camera.
I’d be behind the camera, bit no one would narrate the videos because I can’t stand the sound of my own voice.
COVID wouldn’t have been an issue, for one.
I leave my house about once a week when I don’t have something forcing me.
On the downside industry would grind to a halt because I have very few real world skills.
6. Bipolar AF?
Grumpy AF and then bubbly AF, and then Grumpy AF and then bubbly AF – they would probably all sleep a lot, and eat a mother ton of cheese.
The world would look like an emotionally unstable s**t show lol.
7. Poor and determined?
Overly verbose and neurotic.
Very list-oriented, detail oriented and a high amount of planning to maximize pragmatism.
Very idealistic and fanciful.
Also hard to tell because I am usually broke, so idk what my personality would be like with money.
I’ve been told if there were two of me in this world we’d either end up killing each other or we’d take over the world if we managed to agree on something.
I’m pretty sure it’d be a nuclear wasteland.
I don’t play well with people who think like me and magnifying that 7 billion times is not going to make things better.
We would all have bipolar depressive disorder, have addictive personalities, and a strong distaste for other humans but an oddly obsessive love and connection with nature and animals.
10. Breaking down?
Right now, the world would end because everyone would be curled in a ball having a mental breakdown and crying for 3+ hrs til their eyes are so swollen they can’t see and they’re so dehydrated from all the snot and tears.
Well there would be a lot more jazz in the world.
Jazz would be pop.
People would look down upon former pop and say “it has too little chords” (as opposed to the top many chords jazz of this world has)
A bunch of sarcastic a**holes that love Minecraft, hot pockets, anime, AOT, MHA, are broke as h**l, love children, prefer being with people a few years than themselves, stay in their room to escape from their family, non-athletic, and love junk food yet are skinny as h**l and love sleeping 15 hours a day and complaining they didn’t get enough sleep when they only slept 13 hours.
It’s probably best that we’re all a little distinct, eh?
What would the world be like if it were only full of YOU?
Tell us in the comments.