It feels like a threesome is one of those things that everybody giggles about, and some people fantasize about, but when faced with the reality of it, most of us are actually pretty hesitant. Especially if one of the other two people is someone with whom we’re in a monogamous relationship.

Because one night of spicy fun has the potential to seriously disrupt the dynamic of a relationship and stir up emotions that might not be able to be put back in a bottle.

Just listen to these anonymous confessions from some guys.

10. “I don’t know how”

Do I put an ad on Craigslist? Creep around a bar? What do we do, here?

Source: Whisper

9. “I don’t know how I feel”

Totally understandable.

Source: Whisper

8. “I don’t like sharing”

Well, that’s one way to put it.

Source: Whisper

7. “She doesn’t believe me”

But…you’re a man. Man think this way!

Source: Whisper

6. “I’m too self conscious”

That’s fair. I mean, the pressures you feel being with ONE person sometimes are too much.

Source: Whisper

5. “I don’t want to hold her back”

Shoot for your dreams.

Source: Whisper

4. “It actually upsets me”

Why are you tryin’ to have somebody else?

Source: Whisper

3. “I don’t care either way”

Alright, that kind of apathy is actually a little hard to believe.

Source: Whisper

2. “She’s open”

Maybe talk it through.

Source: Whisper

1. “How can I save this?”

Now that’s a conundrum.

Source: Whisper

At the end of the day, maybe it’s a little more nuanced than the big sexy fantasy it’s made out to be.

Have you been in a situation like this?

Tell us about it in the comments.