Get ready for some takes that might be just a little too hot to handle.
They say that if you can’t take the heat, you gotta get out of the kitchen, and that if you can’t take the heat from hot food takes, then you REALLY should leave, because all the food is here in the kitchen with us and it might hear you and get mad. That’s what they say. That’s what they all say.
So I hope you appreciate the kind of jeopardy I’m putting myself in by bringing you all these food takes from Twitter.
Let’s get ready to… snack?
Yeah, let’s do that!
10. Tomato Slices
Kinda depends on the sandwich to me. Like a turkey sandwich? Nah. But a burger? Sure.
Tomato slices are soggy, flavorless gruel and have absolutely no place on a sandwich https://t.co/LFZTOzuy3E
— Will 🦥 Menaker (@willmenaker) November 23, 2019
Arti-choke on your lies!
Artichokes fell to earth from space and are actually a sentient flesh-spore made from the traumatic memories of a forgotten galactic genocide. https://t.co/HPHcggiv0n
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) November 23, 2019
8. Red Velvet Cake
Maybe that’s why they named it after a bunch of fabric.
Red velvet cake is just not very good chocolate cake and food dye. 😒 https://t.co/div3Z1kNNT
— Kimberley Wilson CPsychol (@FoodAndPsych) November 23, 2019
7. Grandma Cooking
Statistically I guess this kind of has to be true.
Most grandmas actually suck at cooking https://t.co/jn5pXCESG6
— Randall Otis (@RandallOtisTV) November 24, 2019
6. Hot Sauce
Who needs flavor when you can prove your masculinity through feats of pointless suffering?
The hot sauce arms race is pure flex and has long diverged from having anything to do with flavour. https://t.co/HUI2CmoDCc
— Dan Olson (@FoldableHuman) November 23, 2019
Well, somebody is in a sour mood.
I like desserts made with lemon better than chocolate – lemon meringue pie over chocolate cake. https://t.co/CBCEWs9EBz
— Joyce Alene (@JoyceWhiteVance) November 23, 2019
Just all of it. All the fishes.
Fish tastes shit, people only pretend to like it. https://t.co/j9M4Mclbpv
— chris o'dowd (@BigBoyler) November 24, 2019
3. Food Timing
The thing is, this is probably true, but once you’ve spent decades conditioning your brain, food DOES start to taste wrong at different times.
The idea that certain foods are for certain times is total bullshit. Pancakes are for ALL THE TIME. Cereal is for ALL THE TIME. Steak is for ALL THE TIME. Don’t let the propaganda stifle you. https://t.co/esIogA3lAQ
— Louise McSharry (@louisemcsharry) November 24, 2019
Most of them are far more complicated than necessary.
it's all just calories. who gives a shit. eat stuff that tastes good. balanced diet? fuck off. sure, probably try to not get scurvy but most bodies can go way further than you'd think just by getting *enough* https://t.co/4aXmOSnNL0
— i n n e s (@innesmck) November 24, 2019
I want this person found. I just want to talk.
Cheese is disgusting. https://t.co/BA4MSzxK4L
— Steph Yeboah (@StephanieYeboah) December 9, 2020
Man I need to go step into the walk-in to get away from all this HEAT.
What’s your hottest food opinion?
Tell us in the comments.