I was walking along the beach near my home the other day when I saw a big red flag. I mean literally.

It’s put there by civil employees when the meteorology says that it’s way too dangerous to be getting in the water right now. It’s an explicit warning. “We may not be able to stop you from diving into this, but you should know that if you do, it’s gonna get bad.”

Unfortunately the red flags of relationships can be a lot more subtle than that. Like for instance:

But what about some others? Twitter lets us know what to look out for.

10. Loyalty

Sounds reasonable on its surface, but bubbling underneath are torrents of jealousy, insecurity, and a need to control.

9. Kid-hating

Dude if you don’t want them that’s fine but…are you ok?

8. Animal hating

Similar to kid hating, but actually worse because kittens are cuter.

7. Victim complex

As though everyone on the planet has agency except for you.

6. Blessings

I’m not sure you have the power to bestow that kind of thing.

5. Shopping cart negligence

This is the true test of all morality.

4. Friend exclusion

Because you never learned to function that way.

3. Ride or die

See the top listing about loyalty.

2. Rudeness to wait staff

Oh, look who thinks he’s really something.

1. “Fiscal conservative”

I’m sure this one won’t start any fights in the comments.

Red flags all around.

You may now fight in the comments.

But yanno, keep it from getting out of hand.