Sometimes, you just think someone is really great. And then they show that aspect of themselves that kills all of it.

In this Reddit thread, that’s specifically posed as a statement about being attracted to someone, but it applies to people in all areas of our lives, as the responses demonstrate.

What is one trait that could turns someone from a 10 to a 5?
byu/PARADlSE inAskReddit

So, how do you avoid being the worst? Stay away from these traits.

1. Making every conversation about themselves

My mother is a conversational narcissist. Every single conversation is about her, what she’s doing, what she thinks, what she wants to do, what she wants me to do, for her. And if you bring up something about yourself she has no input and turns it back to herself and her experiences or one ups you.

No one talks to her, she gets into arguments with people because she she says whatever she wants and doesn’t think how it might be offensive or just a annoying to the other person. Constantly injects herself into things, wants to tell you something and you signify you’re not interested, doesn’t process, keeps pushing til you flip out.

– Diligentbear

2. Not respecting boundaries

I recently visited some family i hadn’t seen since i was a teenager, and the amount of peer pressure i experienced made me super uncomfortable.

Like keep smoking, you havent smoked with your aunt ever, keep smoking and drink more, and they kept pouring more alcohol in my cup.

Never have i ever experienced peer pressure like that as a kid

– LucasCasper9314

3. Constantly talking s**t about people

I realised one day that I was talking s**t about people with a girlfriend cause it was the only way we bonded.

We broke up and I’m sure she talks s**t about me with everyone.

– not-yawning

4. Making one aspect of your life your identity

I had a friend that made sure everyone knew they hated Apple as a company.

If you had a convo lasting more than 5 minutes with this person, it would come up.

– BoldAsCalls

5. Coughing on people

One time I drove my coworker home. She sneezed into her hands with her fingers spread apart. I felt the sneeze hit me. She was a 60 year old woman.

I never wanted to scream at someone so badly (just…. How do you live that far into your life and still think sneezing into your hands is ok? Why keep the fingers open? It does nothing!!!!!!!!)

– BonBonShark

6. No sense of humour

Or weird sense of humor.

Like never laughs when other people do but laughs at a video of a cat getting run over or something really f**ked. That’s worse.

– beartheminus

7. Lack of sympathy

When I see someone brush off another person’s pain, or just being plain hostile towards someone who obviously needs help (especially when they make some stupid remark) it is an instant “I hate you” realization I have.

It’s sad, sometimes it just ruins getting to know the person.

– sunflower_letters

8. Demeaning others

Having the “you’re worthless and can be easily replaced” attitude.

If a person is going to treat you like crap what is the point of dating them when there are other people in the dating scene.

– UnknownL_13

9. No self-awareness

went on a date, i pick her up and she seems kind of nervous but everything was fine, not sparks or anything but we got on fine, there was definitely no second date happening…

so we got in my car and i was driving her home, she slips off her shoes and puts her feet up on the dash, where the air bag is…. and starts rolling a cigarette, i tell her “no smoking in my car and get your feet off the dash” (this is all going on whilst im driving.) she claps back with ” i will do what i want” and then laughs… like its a joke and she is a rebel, so i pulled in to a layby told her to get out if she was going to smoke.

so im sat there, she is smoking outside of the car and im just thinking “drive away…. “, she finishes and puts her feet back on the dash again as im driving… i now yell at her “Get your Feet of the dash!”. she gets defensive about it and starts freaking out. so i tell her in a calm yet stern voice

“if i get hit by a car, or crash, your legs will be shot at your face with the same speed as the air bag deployment, not only will your legs SHATTER, but more then likely your knees will go though your skull and you will die… so get your feet of the dash, Please!”

she took her feet of the dash

– Empty-Refrigerator

10. Gatekeeping/Smugness

I hate hearing that I’m too old to enjoy something that I honestly enjoy, it hurts no one. You don’t have to enjoy it, but respect the fact that I do. Stop bringing up the fact that you only watch academy award winning films, you’re brand name only, you’re into the classic arts

I respect if you actually only like listening to classical music or you really are into these obscure award-winning films. That doesn’t mean you’re better than me or my interests

– TheDemonLady

11. Bragging badly

For me though its bragging about sh**ty behavior.

I recently went on a blind date with a woman who was super proud of herself for suing people and institutions.

I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. It was a shame bc she was really attractive until she started to talk.

– illpoet

12. Apathy

Not putting in effort and being apathetic to someone who’s struggling.

Had an ex look me in the face a month after my dad died and told me that he didn’t want to comfort me because he didn’t want me to wallow in my grief.

– louerbrat

13. Bullying the vulnerable

For me, it’s being mean to animals and small children for just being animals or small children.

Like, they’re just doing their thing. It’s not their fault they don’t know how to do stuff and need help.

Don’t treat them sh**ty because of it.

– KT_mama

14. Stupidity

For me stupidity by itself is not enough to repel me from someone – it’s certain kinds of stupidity.

E.g. wacky, funny stupid is fine. Toxic, “only I can be right” stupid is not.

This of course all depends on the severity of the stupid. Like are they just reckless and find it difficult to learn from mistakes, or are they full on ignorant and resilient to any type of new information?

– A**FishOfTheLake

15. Being rude to waitstaff

I refused a second date with a good-looking, “typically successful” guy because he would put little pieces of paper on the edge of our table and then time the waiters to see how long it took for them to come by and sweep them up.

I don’t care how high you’re currently climbing on Wall Street. You’re an a**hole and life is too short to date Manhattan a**holes.

I wanted to bail at the end of that date, but it just kept going and going because he wanted to take me to meet his pot dealer.

Honestly, it was one of the worst and weirdest nights of my life. I just needed to get to a subway station I could recognize so I could get the h**l out of there.

Man, I don’t miss that phase of my life anymore!

– daughterof312

That last one came up…kind of a lot. Don’t be rude to waitstaff. It’s the fastest way to make a reasonable person despise you.

What would you add to this list?

Tell us in the comments.