I have a serious question to ask all of you.
Do y’all still use pick up lines? Seriously, are those a real thing used in the real world? Or are they all just jokes?
I mean, these ones are definitely jokes. I think?
I dunno, Reddit. Teach me the ways of love.
1. Drop ’em
You seem to have dropped something there…
Oh its your standards! Can I buy you a drink?
– Smiles_will_help
2. Heatin’ up
Hey girl are you a microwave?
Cause mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
– Birthday-Specialist
3. Stud muffin
Are you looking for a STUD?
Because I already have the STD, all I need is U.
– AGH8
4. Now we’re cookin’
Are you a pan cuz im going to put my meat in you for about 30 seconds
– FlameMane87
5. Call a plumber
There’s an old sewage department saying: If you’ve got a nice drain pipe there’s no reason to hide it
– Swackhammer_
6. Drink it in
Dips fingers in a glass of water and flicks a few drops towards prospective date
“I think we should go back to your place and get you out of these wet clothes”
– cruiserman_80
7. It’s a trip
Hey did I see you on Trip Advisor the other day?
Yeah, I was looking for the best place to eat out
– dangerburns880
8. No butts about it
“You’ve got something on your butt”.
“?”
“My eyes”.
– Khenghis_Ghan
9. Mirror, mirror
“Want to go watch a p**no together on my new flat-screen mirror?”
– kaosi_schain
10. No scrubs
I was out in a work do once.
I saw a girl I knew and jokingly said “you scrub up well”.
It wasn’t the girl I knew at all, but a total stranger.
And we ended up leaving together!
– The-Go-Kid
11. Face the facts
Did you fall from heaven?
Because your face is f**ked up.
– ChrisNEPhilly
12. Nailed it
Is heaven missing an angel?
Cuz you’ve got nice cans.
– gavreaux
13. Money, honey
If your bank balance was the same as your phone number, how much money would you have?
– T**tysprinkles29
14. D**ks out
Hey girl, are you the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati zoo?
Because I want to drop a kid in you.
– Mythopoeist
15. Look it up
“are you a dictionary?….Cause you got definition.”
– triggeranimal
16. Sweet nothings
“you know what looks good on you?”
“nothing”
– snowflakeshwa
17. Get a leg up
Do you know what my favorite word is? “Legs”, do you want to help me spread the word
– diablo2488
18. Legit leggy
I love the way your legs make an a** of themselves
– Citizen_31415
19. hard and fast
Do you know the difference between a Ferrari and a hard on?… I don’t have a Ferrari
– bionikchkn
20. A catch thiiiiis big
My friend once said
“girl you’re like a prize bass. I don’t know if I should eat you or mount you!”
– Mullet1983
21. Getting colder
Do you know how much a Polar bear weighs?
Enough to break the ice.
– Nuffsaid98
22. The steaks are high
“Da** girl, are you a steak? Cause I’d eat your tenderloin.”
– Lichsenate
23. Indecent proposal
“Would you have s** with a stranger for $10 million?
(Hopefully they say yes).
Well now that we have established you are willing to prostitute yourself, what can I get for $5?”
– Aubear11885
24. Blown away
Did you fart
Cause you blew me away.
– gorillahands2006
25. Morning glory
When picking up a random woman:
“How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled, over easy, or fertilized?”
– Dankman
26. Saving face
Mask mandate pick up lines.
“Hey baby. I wanna share my whole face with you”
– draivaden
27. Stuck on you
Girl, you’re like gorilla glue.
I can’t get you out of my head.
– muerte626
28. When life gives you limes…
How to flirt
1: get a bunch of limes
2: accidentally drop them in front of your crush
3: try several times unsuccessfully to pick them up
4: say “sorry, I’m really bad at pick up limes”
5: success
– pioneerlegend
29. I’m fine
“How are you?”
“Good, but clearly not as fine as you.”
– theJourneyEnds
30. Dead media
Do you like tapes and CDs?
Then let me tape my d**k to your forehead so you can CDs balls
– iDavidC96
31. It’s because I’m so in love
I don’t like sand.
It’s course, rough and irritating.
And it gets everywhere
– Alanitzio
32. It adds up
I’m sin2 theta you’re cos2 theta, together we’re one
I want to be your derivative so I can be tangent to your curves
– Perfect_Pen_1793
33. Do the creep
If I can guess your address will you go out with me?
– bagelport
34. Just breathe
It’s a good thing I brought my inhaler cuz you got that a**, ma.
– No_Disk3484
35. They’re everywhere
“I’m calling you about your cars extended warranty, we’d like to know if you could sit down with a representative this Friday afternoon at ___(Insert Restaurant here) at _o’clock. Thank you for your time and have a wonderful day.”
– high-im-stupid
Seriously like…you’re not really using those.
…are you?
Tell me if you are in the comments. I genuinely need to know.