There’s a great comedian named Brian Regan who several years back had a routine that I still think about constantly.
The gist of it was that he could never say the correct thing when interacting with a stranger. An airport teller tells him to enjoy his flight? “You too.” Comes the response. Of course, she’s not getting on a plane, but yanno…later, if she ever does, I guess.
In another incident he describes getting caught on the horns of “take care” and “good luck,” spitting out an awkward “take luck!” instead, which sends him spiraling into a pit of self-doubt from which he never recovers.
It’s honestly incredibly relatable, as these tweets will confirm.
10. The hamster dance
Lord grant me the free time of people who run social media pages for their pets.
Accidentally just replied to a boy I fancy off my HAMSTERS Instagram account goodnight
— KT? (@Kateleeex) September 1, 2020
9. It’s in the bag
And it’s a very very long list of regrets.
yesterday at target the cashier said ‘your receipt is in the bag’ and i responded with ‘you too’ so i’ve been dealing with that for the past 18 hours but i’m slowly coming to terms with it which is cool
— t (@earthtoterraa) December 6, 2017
8. No interaction, please
Ok come on, how are you supposed to be prepared for that?
i seriously need a job where i don't have to interact with people. i just asked a table if they were celebrating anything and when they said their dad's bday i brought them a bday table decoration and then they decide to tell me he's not coming because he's dead….
— abby♡︎ (@vibrantskep) June 15, 2020
7. The pacsun man
Or maybe it was a bluff and this was his backup plan in case you said no.
dude at pacsun asked for my number while i was cashing out and i was like oh sorry i'm not really interested hahah and this man looks at me and goes "i meant for the rewards program…" why am i the dumbest human being alive
— M A R V E L P L U S (@Marvelxxx98) June 29, 2018
6. The big delay
Hold up – you’re looking for dating prospects in the area you’re about to *fly away from?*
My flight was delayed 3 hours so I was doing what any human does when they’re bored. Minding my own business swiping through tinder & the guy behind me goes “ouch hard no for that one?” And I turn around ONLY TO SEE THE MAN I JUST SWIPED NO ON BEHIND ME HAHAHA
— tay (@Taylor_Stag) November 26, 2018
5. Check, please
How do so many of these end like this…
I work at a bank and this lady came in with a $150,000 check and to make conversation I was like "oh wow I wish I had one of these" then she deadass was like "it's a life insurance check. I would rather have the person." pic.twitter.com/3FXUdPdO88
— maskulla (@MakVest) January 22, 2018
4. The sporting life
If she had said yes, you’d be legally obligated to make it happen.
at Dick’s, it is a habit of mine to ask customers if they want their items in a bag after they check out.
today, a woman came up to the register with 2 kayaks to buy.
after ringing them up, i looked her dead in the eye and said “would you like these in a bag?”
— sav (@s_rumer18) May 28, 2018
3. Face the facts
But you’ve given everyone who was working there that day a story to tell for the rest of their lives.
I was at the airport and the TSA agent told me to scan my license face down, but I just heard “Scan your face down” so I put my face on the scanner and waited. I wish this was a joke but no, it happened and the TSA guy could not stop laughing and now I have to go into witsec. pic.twitter.com/PmXikadxTg
— Sendsnacksplz (@sendsnacksplz) January 19, 2020
2. Catch phrase
WHY IS THAT EVEN IN THE CARDS?
My bf met my family for the first time & we we're playing catch phrase & his word was boner. Instead of skipping it like a normal person he said "something that Bridget gives me" right infront of my father
— B (@BenedictBridget) December 26, 2018
1. The Tesco incident
Again, I suspect these may be backup plans.
Just been down to Tesco getting a sandwich and some crisps and the lad at the checkout asked if I wanted to go for a drink. I told him I had a boyfriend but I was flattered but I couldn’t. He said “no, it’s part of the meal deal”. You will never catch me in tesco ever again.
— Roisin Donagh? (@DonaghRoisin) May 22, 2020
Well, guess that’s all for now. Take luck!
What’s the most awkward encounter you’ve had recently?
Tell us in the comments.