When I’d first moved to a bigger city I interviewed for and was subsequently offered a job as a guide for a tour company.
They told me what to expect and gave me a book of materials to memorize for the tour. The book was enormous, and sitting down with it, I started doing the math. How long would it take me to memorize and practice all this? How many hours a day would I actually be working, including the commute in and out of downtown every day? And how much did they say this all paid?
I quickly came to the realization that the time-to-pay ratio was not going to be worth it and quit before I’d even technically started. That’s the fastest I’ve ever walked out.
But Reddit has some different tales, many of which put mine to shame for the sheer audacity. Some highlights for you:
1. Dude, you’re gettin’ a Dell
Back in 1998 I was working for Dell selling computers over the phones. People were not quite ordering online yet. Anyway, it was so easy. I was making close to $100k a year bc of how the commission structure was. living in Austin as a 23 year old.
So one day my manager asks me to train a new team of sales people because I was one of the top sellers on the floor every month.
I turned this group into the most bada** sales team. My crew of 8 were all in the top 20 every week and were kicking a**.
After 2 months, I show up on a Monday and none of the sales people are there except my team and a bunch of other new faces I hadn’t seen before.
Turns out Dell didn’t like paying commissions and health insurance and 401ks, so they fired all the sale’s and replaced them with “Temp” workers making $12 an hour. My entire team was the first group of temp works. I was not aware of this. They were told they had to “prove themselves” and be converted to “full time” with benefits. They were never going to do it.
I told them they can all go f**k themselves and quit. I heard that week they cleaned house and everyone, even managers who told me what was happening were gone and all replaced by temp hourly people.
2. Scenes from an Italian restaurant
At 17, I was a young line cook at an upscale Italian restaurant.
I was picking everything up so quickly I knew all the stations on the line within 10 months of hiring. I was getting minimum wage (at the time $7.25/hr) and asked for a $1/hr raise to reflect my diverse capabilities. Got denied and asked the chef when I could get it then. She said, “you’re too young for a raise, just be happy with minimum wage”.
In response I said I may have to start looking elsewhere for a job who’ll pay me what I’m worth. She then said, “don’t you know how expendable cooks are? If you leave I can replace you on the spot”. So I did.
A Sunday evening dinner service, very busy, at the height of the night I and my friend who I got hired took off our aprons and walked off the line towards the front door. He came with me in solidarity, plus I was his ride home.
Felt good for a day or two, but I’ve never quit that way ever since. Been in the service industry for 23 years now.
3. I’m the band guy (duh)
I worked as a manager in this really awesome cafe/bar, my interview was basically drinking a bottle of wine with the owner whilst chatting. Totally relaxed vibe, local artwork on the walls (which she sold for no commission), indie music as background noise so you could still have a conversation etc.
One of the guys who worked there was in a band and would often go on tour, and she always made sure his job was waiting for him when he got back.
Fast forward 3 years and she became pregnant with twins and decided that she wanted to be a sahm so she sold the place to a young guy who purchased it as a gift for his fiancée.
A nice gift, no? But it soon became apparent that he did this because she couldn’t actually hold down a job due to even the most simplest of tasks being entirely beyond her. It took me FOUR WEEKS to teacher her how to use the coffee machine, she spent the evening shifts giving freebies to her mates and she totally gave up on using the panini machine.
After finally mastering the coffee machine, she announced that they were going to be redecorating so we would either have to take a week off unpaid or use our holiday time. Everyone was forced to use the holiday time.
Came back a week later and we totally didn’t recognise the place, it now had white walls with huge TVs blaring out dance music (in a space that only had 12 tables) so loud that we couldn’t hear what anyone was saying. We checked the rotas and I had lost 10hrs a week but the band guy had lost 20hrs.
Naturally we asked wtf?! And she informed us that she could run the place without us so cut out hours. We asked if they could delay the new rotas by a month to give us chance to find extra work elsewhere (I was ok as I had a second job that begged me to be full time, but band guy didn’t).
She said that as we didn’t have contract with her, she didn’t have to give us any notice.
Not gonna lie, i was fuming, so I took my apron off, placed my keys on the counter and said that as we didn’t have a contract I didn’t have to give any notice that I quit. Then promptly walked out and never went back again.
The place closed down within 3 months.
4. Here’s a tip: don’t
Worked at a restaurant as a server. We’d just catered a large wedding reception. The owner’s wife was chatting with the wedding party all night and occasionally getting the drinks.
At the end of the night she said she’s taking “her share” of the tips since she helped so much. I say fine even though that’s illegal in our state.
An hour and a half after the party ends the restaurant is still a mess and the owners wife is just standing around talking while I was supposed to clean up. It was almost midnight and I’d worked my other job earlier that day.
I walked out without saying a word. They ended up giving me all of my tips on my last check.
5. Generating trouble
Not quite on the spot, but the manager was telling the new hires (which included me) how he beat the crap out of someone for some reason that I cannot recall. Apparently the court case had been dragging on for quite some time. Alrighty. Little crazy, but what manager is completely sane?
Then a few weeks later a hurricane comes through. Pretty bad, my house only lost power for a day. But most of my coworkers lost power for at least two weeks. So we eventually go back to work and the manager is telling us the harrowing story of how he managed to find a generator when a hurricane is coming. I’ll spare you the details, but it’s pretty much impossible to find a generator if a hurricane is about to hit.
So this nutcase is trying to install this generator at his house and sees someone driving by, eyeballing his generator. (Or so he imagines). Like any completely normal person, the manager pulls out a gun and fires a few rounds into the air, to “scare them off”. (I can only imagine what the poor person driving by thought when he saw this a**hole pull out a gun and start shooting). In response to the gunshots his neighbor comes running over (why has no one called the cops yet????) to see if everything is ok. My manager tells him that someone is trying to steal his generator and if it goes missing, he’s going to hold the neighbor responsible.
At this point in the story, my mouth is hanging open and I’m like WTF did I just listen to. This man is…insane. Why is the neighbor responsible for his generator??? None of this makes sense! I slowly noped out of that job. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he ending up murdering all of his co-workers one day in a fit of rage.
6. “School reasons”
My first job was working as a dish washer at a seafood place. I wasn’t *hired* as a dishwasher, I was supposed to be a busser, they just shoved me on the washer and left me there.
One of the other employees there was an elderly man who worked alongside his wife and grandson. Every day he would find an excuse to walk up close to me and put his hand on my a**. He was a 70 year old man, and I was a 16 year old boy.
I should have reported him, but i doubted anyone would have believed me since he’d been there for years and I had only been working for a month. I just called the manager, told her I had to quit for “school reasons” and never looked back.
7. Think again
I got blamed for something that wasn’t my fault, was in an argument with our VP or marketing because I had the audacity to suggest a solution that would have avoided our problem instead of accepting fault for something I didn’t do.
He told me he doesn’t pay me to think, so that was my last day.
Had a job where the people were toxic, the management was mostly toxic, and the other techs made themselves look better by making other techs look bad.
I had 2 guys on my shift who would go behind me during maintenance or repairs and undo stuff I did and call it out over the radio for all to hear, so I started recording myself making the repairs, and when I got called out and showed the video, I was told “you’re not supposed to have your phone out on the floor” and got wrote up.
I walked out with no warning in the middle of the busiest weeks of the year leaving them shorthanded with only 2 idiots to handle calls.
9. Drug dealers
I am a physician assistant and took a job at an urgent care.
After working there for about a month I noticed some irregularities, such as some medications being expired and sometimes a lack of supplies. I wrote that off as the office manager not being as astute as she should have been and brought it up to the doctor who owned the place. He said he would talk to her and straighten it out.
Then one of the medical assistants came to me and said you know this has been going on forever, right? She then said that things would never change and to get used to it because the expired medications had been on the shelf for months and they were told to never throw them out. She then also told me that the auto clave (the machine that sterilizes instruments) was broken and all they did was wash the instruments in soap and water and put them in the auto clave anyway to get them as clean as possible.
That was the end of that. I made out a formal complaint to the state medical board and never showed up again.
The state actually came in the very next day and raided the place. They shut him down immediately. They found so many things wrong that not only did they keep the place out of business, they suspended his license. He was also prosecuted on federal charges because he was running a scam for truck driver physical exams.
10. It’s just a wedding
I was getting married.
I had a temp job, and told them on my first day that I needed a weekend off in a couple of months for my wedding. I reminded them every couple of weeks, had it on the calendar, and even reminded them that Monday.
That weekend came, and I was on the schedule. I told my boss that I needed it off for my wedding, and she said, “You’re just a kid, can’t you move it? We really need the parts.” Admittedly, I was 21 marrying my 19 year old girlfriend, but yeah.
I laughed at her and left. We were scheduled Saturday and Sunday, two “attendance points” and you’re fired, so I assumed that I’d be job hunting on Monday after my wedding.
I went to another temp agency on Monday and had a job lined up for Monday evening. On Tuesday, the temp job called and asked if I was coming back. I told that person (the temp agency lady) what they’d done to me, she was upset that they’d done that, tried to get me to go back, but I liked the new job and stayed there.
11. Have you had your break today?
I worked at McDonald’s when I was 16.
We used to get a free McDouble or hot and spicy with a small fries and drink for our lunch break.
One day when I went on break the franchise owner was there and when he noticed I asked for cheese on the Hot and spicy he attempted to make me pay for the whole meal because cheese wasn’t free. I thought he was joking so I laughed and started walking towards the break room until he yelled at me not to walk away from him In front of customers and my coworkers.
I couldn’t believe it, this grown a** successful business man was hounding at 16 year old for a slice of cheese.
Told him I wasn’t gonna pay, put the food down and walked out.
They tried calling me to come to work that weekend I told them no thanks and never went back.
12. Always read the contract
Walked in to the interview, everything went well, accepted the job offer.
Went to the front desk to do the paperwork and noticed that the contract had a different pay amount, and that I would be “interning” for the first month for $100/week. I asked first about the amount difference, was told “oh, this the standard contract, it just hasn’t been updated for your specific offer.” I told them they’d need to edit and initial the changes before I would sign. “Oh…that’s not how things work here.”
I thanked them for their time and left without signing anything. They called me back on the day I was supposed to have started asking where I was. I told them because didn’t sign the contract, I was never an employee….hooo boy that was a fun call.
I worked at Walmart for a short time.
I worked as hard as I possibly could to unload their pallets of merchandise. I always thought I was so d**n fast, I studied the process and I believed I perfected it.
EVERY SINGLE DAY my manager came up to me and told me I needed to be faster. So I did, and the fast pace made me lose a little focus, causing me to break a finger.
I let management know that I might be a little slower due to my injury and they straight up told me “we won’t tolerate any laziness” and wrote me up when I didn’t meet their ridiculous standards.
So I went home after my shift, and never returned. Never called, never formally quit. I just never came back. F**k Walmart.
14. Rich kid syndrome
Worked for a privately owned bakery for exactly 1 week.
The owners son comes in, walks passed the counter and into the bathroom. He comes out a few minutes later without acknowledging me or my coworker, gets into his car and drives away. We both looked at each other then opened the door only to find this guy literally s**t all over the toilet seat and the toilet paper holder.
I called the owner, told her what happened and she said to “Deal with it.” So I asked my coworker if she wanted to clean it up because I wasn’t going to.
She declined and I told her I was walking out. She did as well. We locked up the store and told the owner we quit but would reconsider staying if her son came back to clean up his own mess.
She yelled and berated us for 20 seconds before I said goodbye and hung up.
15. You got served
I worked for an attorney. I was 7 months pregnant.
I was supposed to be a secretary but instead I was constantly being sent out as a process server. In July. At the end of my 3 months (August) I was supposed to get a raise and she said that she couldn’t give me a raise.
The day she said that, I left at lunch and never went back. She was an awful person and the guy I replaced told me that he felt sorry for me on my first day as he was leaving. I should have left that day.
Sometimes, the greatest triumph you can have is to quit.
What’s the fastest you’ve left a job?
Tell us in the comments.