Writing is hard. Case in point, I’m trying to do it right now, and I just know that any second I’m gonna make a terrible simile; like a frosted banana waiting to go bad in the still-packed carry-on bag of life.
See? I did it again.
And when it comes to writing PEOPLE? Those lunatics? With all their irrational behavior and complex inner-workings? Impossible. Women in particular? Don’t get me started. Really, don’t, because I’m bad at it, as are all the men trying to write women getting roasted in these posts.
14. Select your player
I’m not sure what bountiful but unimaginative means but I’m intrigued.
Would a male author describe your breasts as:
A) Small, but persistent
B) Bountiful but unimaginative
C) Stern, but not without charm
D) Perky and nonjudgmental
E) Shy, but good listeners
F) Robust and welcoming
G) Shriveled, dusty to the touchSound off in the comments!!
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) October 8, 2019
13. A limited time only
I legit used to think that was a joke menu item.
Her breasts were amazing—soft and comforting, like the bun that comes with a Filet-o-Fish Sandwich®️ now two for five dollars at McDonald’s.
— F. Scott Fitz Jesse (Johnny Utah Edition) (@FScottFitzJesse) February 23, 2021
12. The tables have turned
No thank you please.
https://twitter.com/dbbm52/status/1360629214198792196
11. The progression of life
“Everyone has a book inside them, for most that’s where it should stay.”
Teenage boy: I wish to write a book, but I do not know life.
Young adult man: I wish the same, but I am still learning life.
Middle aged man (typing in Word): she bit her lip and crossed her long, thin legs. She was sexy and she knew it well,— atrophy wife 🎀 (@zuza_real) September 24, 2020
10. Jazz cafe
Come on, feel the music.
9. Through the years
It’s an interesting point.
https://actuallyfeanor.tumblr.com/post/639781598070521856/imagine-if-female-authors-could-get-away-with
8. Stop being terrible
It’s not a whole heck of a lot to ask.
7. The apocalypse is here
Hi i’m a man in a post apocalyptic society, my beard is perfectly groomed and I have one large but undamaging scar on my upper left peck.
6. But this was so different
What exactly is your angle here, bub?
5. Oh, brother
“Come on, let’s get going. We need to hit the camp before nightfall.”
4. Starter pack
You’ll be on your way to writing in no time!
3. A hard personality
This is an uninteresting character, male or female.
2. Cookin’
If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.
1. More cooking stuff
Are y’all hungry or h**ny?
Time to close this book for now.
What’s the worst writing you’ve ever come across?
Tell us in the comments.