Do you hear the people sing
Singing the songs of funny tweets
It is the music of a people who will not accept defeat
When the tweeting of our hearts
Matches the tweets of something dumb
It is the future that we bring when tomorrow comes

I hope that little anthem got you sufficiently excited for these tweets because they’re coming at you one way or the other. For one. For all.

15. Off the market

Don’t be lookin’ for any sales on me any time soon.

14. The right stuff

There may not be much left though.

13. Worst case scenario

Just when we think we’ve hit bottom, we discover a new low.

12. Thinkin’ things

Me when I’m left alone with my thoughts for even a single second.

11. Me and the boys

Oh those rascals.

10. None of your business

Listen here you little sh**.

9. Dodged a bullet

Methinks he doth protest too much.

8. Caught in the wild

Please don’t tell people how I live.

7. All cured

Oh dang, is it that easy?

6. Off the menu

This is when I just say “I’ll have the burger please” and hope they know.

5. The twins

They do look kinda suspicious now that you mention it.

4. Wattpad woes

The people demand more literature. Hop to it, R.R.

3. All wet

You just gotta roll up your sleeves and be super grossed out.

2. Showing her off

She is elegance. She is grace.

1. The basic elements

It’s invisible light waves, fam. We’re tricking ghosts into playin’ our jams.

Now go forth, my people! Be free with the tweets!

Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?

Tell us in the comments.