We’ve all heard hilariously painful stories (or even experienced them first hand) of saying the wrong thing in bed and totally killing the mood.
How do we avoid such things?
Reddit has some insights.
Let’s see if we can’t pick up a few tips.
1. Just play.
Once, I let my boyfriend just play with my boobs for as long as he liked.
I was surprised how long he wanted to just lie there and play with them – maybe 45 minutes?
It was so sweet and funny when he said, totally serious, “this is like a dream come true.” I’ll always remember that.
2. Holy smokes.
I’m not typically into talking during sex (me or my partner) but I once had a dude tell me I was a goddess while I was on top of him.
Instant confidence boost, felt 10,000% sexier.
Words aren’t necessary but if you’re feeling pleased do vocalize it. Silence or just looking at me is odd. I want feedback.
Say what feels good, if you want me to do something or stop doing something. Moan, groan, swearing (i know it’s not just me who loves it when they’re so turned on the whisper ‘f*ck’. Makes me feel very confident). Communication is a turn on. Say our names will make us crazy.
4. Say something nice.
Some compliments are nice. Complimenting my body like “wow you look so sexy” or “your breasts look so good right now” Or complimenting my skills like “you sure know how to suck a d*ck” or “mm you are so good at riding me”
Also I love when a guy asks “ does that feel good” or “do you like having my c*ck inside you”
Also I love when a guy tells me before he is going to finish so I know, like “you’re about to make me c*m babe”
5. The classics.
“you’re so f*cking tight” and I like when a guy’s eyes roll back and their knees get weak when they c*m.
I think it’s hot as f*ck. I think I care more about the actions they do over verbal though.
6. Let me know.
Nothing particular. I just want to know if my partner is really enjoying that. I absolutely hate it when men are so silent during sex that I can even barely hear their breathing. Moaning is super hot. Doesn’t have to be super loud porn moaning, but some ohs, ahs and mmhms are strongly appreciated. And obviously I want him to tell me if he is uncomfortable/in pain/cold/I am bending his d*ck to a wrong direction too much/he wants to change position.
Some compliments are also good but it’s super important to make your girl feel SPECIAL so AVOID saying things like “I love how girls bite their lip like that, it’s so sexy”. “I love how YOU bite your lip like that”. And typical stuff like “You’re so hot” are totally okay.
7. A teachable moment.
Instruct me like it’s my first time.
I want to know exactly what you want.
8. Testing the waters.
I think the most important thing is that you try it out with your partner.
I (m) was quiet in the early days of my relationship of almost 6 years now. And she asked me why I didn’t moan, I said I didn’t know. I tried it the next time. To an extent I would be comfortable with and she was loving it. So I did it more and more and we found out she basically just likes when I talk dirty to her when we do it.
I little time ago she said she wanted me to be a little more dominant in the words I say. So I tried. I called her something, she didn’t like it, so she told me and we came to terms on a different word I could try instead. Also I might be that you only like something when you are really turned on. So just jumping in at the deep end is not a good idea. Get warmed up first.
It’s all about going at a pace where both parties are comfortable and then only when both are comfortable THEN you can try to push those boundaries. Tell what each of you liked and what you disliked.
9. What’s the vibe?
It depends on the mood of the sex.
Lovey? “I love you sooooo much” with a lot of emotion in it goes pretty far. Or a breathless “you’re beautiful”
Kinky roleplay? (I am the sub): “You’re just my little f*cktoy and I can do whatever I want to you.” or the equivalent but shorter “you’re mine”
Either case or just regular vanilla sex? “It feels so good inside you”, “god I love your…” (insert body part here)
And yes, moans, heavy breathing, grunts, anything to let me know you’re enjoying yourself.
10. Keeping busy.
I expect their tongue to be too busy for much speech for a good portion of the time.
11. Vroom vroom!
I know for sure its not car noises.
12. The hottest of all.
“I’m three months ahead on the mortgage…we can take that vacation to Tuscany.”
The right name usually helps.
“I cleaned the bathroom and took care of the dishes.”
15. Ok, that’s enough.
Softly whisper the lyrics to cotton eyed joe
Just gonna jot a few of these down. Might be awkward when I flip open my notepad in the middle of the action, though.
What do you like to hear in bed?
Tell us in the comments.