There’s a strange dynamic that can happen within a couple. Some people refer to being a “top” or a “bottom,” with implications ranging all the way from who generally makes the decisions to stuff I don’t think I’m allowed to describe here.

But sometimes, that generally healthy dynamic can get way out of whack and end up at the point where one person only feels comfortable if they’re completely controlling the other. It’s a situation born of insecurity and fear and it leads to plenty more of the same.

Here are a few anonymous confessions from people who found themselves with very controlling boyfriends. A few might surprise you.

10. “I love that…”

As long as you can talk about it and not let it get out of control, more power to you both.

Source: Whisper

9. “It used to be sweet”

There’s a fine line between protecting someone for their own sake and guarding someone as your property.

Source: Whisper

8. “I need to leave him”

Watch out for friends who might find themselves here.

Source: Whisper

7. “He refuses to leave”

Uh oh, that’s definitely not good.

Source: Whisper

6. “Not true”

There’s often something behind the scenes pulling the strings.

Source: Whisper

5. “It’s even worse when he drinks”

If you know you should go, just go. Don’t count on someone changing course for no reason.

Source: Whisper

4. “Whines like a child”

Further proof that these power moves are just insecurity writ large.

Source: Whisper

3. “However…”

There’s a but, and it’s a big but.

Source: Whisper

2. “He deleted my entire list”

I like that simple and direct answer.

Source: Whisper

1. “He takes care of me financially”

Letting someone become financially dependent on you is another potential tool of control.

Source: Whisper

It’s pretty chilling stuff.

Do you have experience with this sort of thing?

Tell us about it in the comments.